“I admit it.” I sighed, rubbing my temple. “I think I’ve been lying to myself about not caring about sex.”
“Yeah, no kidding. Did you really want me to feel guilty for coming?”
It sounded ridiculous out loud. “Not exactly.”
He frowned, facing forward again. “It sucks. I thought this would help things, but we’re worse off today than we were before the whole birthday dinner thing.”
“Maybe, but we’re being more honest, too.” I sighed. “Next week can’t be as bad as this was.”
“You’re willing to try again?”
I hesitated, then nodded. “Some good came of this. I liked going to The Muse. They have live music there.”
“Is that why you’re so late?” His eyes darted back to me, then away.
“It’s not that late,” I defended, though I’d stayed through the break the band took to listen longer.
“It’s close to midnight. Victor showed up at the hotel almost two hours ago.” He straightened, resting back against the couch. “What were you doing all that time?”
“I just told you. Listening to live music.” I frowned. “Why? What are you trying to say?”
“Nothing. It’s just… Victor might have mentioned the bartender. Said you two seemed too friendly.”
“Jack?” I asked, feeling a bump of adrenaline from saying his name.
Neil’s eyes narrowed on me. “You even know his name?”
“He’s the owner, not just the bartender. He kind of kicked Victor out?” It came out as a question, since what had happened hadn’t been as dramatic as that.
“Victor was being that awful?”
I shrugged, my thighs pressing together as I remembered Victor’s last words. “Saying he asked him to leave is probably a better description, but other people noticed. Jack made sure I was okay after.” Sean had, too, but I doubted Neil would like to hear me say yet another man’s name.
Neil’s arms folded over his chest. “I should have been the one to do that. You’re right. Tonight I was only thinking about me.”
Exhaustion settled over me. “I really did like the bar. Despite what happened, I felt safe there. Maybe we can go back next week?”
“Yeah, we can do that. We could try to pick out people for each other in person next time.”
I’d meant more like a date, but that was stupid. Neil wanted to do this whole hall pass thing. He wasn’t ready to give up yet, though I was even less sure.
He reached over for my hand. “We’ll start with finding someone you’re comfortable with, of course. I don’t want you to think this is all about me.”
“Okay,” I agreed, even though I couldn’t imagine anyone I’d be comfortable enough with. At least Sean and Jack would be there in case it went wrong again.
Neil squeezed my hand and bumped his shoulder into mine. “You know, it’s not my fault I come every time you touch me. You’re so good at it.”
I shook my head. “I’m not.”
“Seriously, Hailey. Listening to you talk about what gets me off made me hot.”
Hot enough for him to leave with Lexi. I bit my lip, staring down at my hands.
“Even at the hotel, I was thinking about you. About how you touch me.” His thumb stroked over my palm. “Could you touch me like that tonight?”
I pulled my hand away, standing up. “I’m going to pretend you didn’t ask me that.”
“Come on, Hailey. It’s been a while, and I got all worked up tonight. It doesn’t have to be a blow job. If you could—”
