Dev nodded.“You’re a medic,practically a fucking surgeon, you are one of the best riflemen Ihave ever had the pleasure of fighting with, but more than that,Sam, you are and always were the best of us.The team and theirneeds always came first for you.You never fucking gave up on anyof us, and you never will.I saw you fight death time and timeagain, and you came out on top.I learned a lot from you, Sam, andif I am any kind of leader, it’s because I learned a lot of what Ido from you.I won’t give up on anyone.”Dev turned to look atGlenn, and Sam saw the man swallow hard.“I won’t give up on youeither, Glenn, and that means on Maddox, too.”
Sam saw Glenn pale, but after a momenthe nodded.Sam said goodnight to the group then walked out withAiden and Nick, knowing that the two men must both beconfused.
“There is obviously a lotI missed somewhere along the line,” Nick said as he walked toward aFord Raptor in the car park that looked as badass as the sheriffwho held the keys to it.“Why don’t we hold off on the conversationuntil we’re back home, and I have a coffee in my hand?Everythingis easier to understand when I have coffee in my hand.”
Sam laughed and was thankful for therespite of the quiet ride back to Aiden and Nick’s place on theoutskirts of town.Dev had given Sam a gift he’d never expected toreceive, and that made him think that perhaps his LT knew moreabout him than he’d ever let on.It shouldn’t have shocked Sam asmuch as it did.Dev always seemed to know when and what to say toget the best from his team and to give them what they needed.Characteristics that not only made for a great LT but a great man,and one that Sam was thankful to call friend.He almost felt sorryfor feeding him all that wood dust six years ago.
Almost, but not quite.
Thirty minutes later, the three ofthem were sitting around a large oak table drinking the coffee Nickhad promised.They had shown Sam around their rental property andit was lovely, but didn’t look like a home.It was more functionalthan anything, and there weren’t too many items that Sam would callpersonal.When he asked about it, Aiden simply said that a lot oftheir stuff was in storage.Sam felt a little unsettled by that.Were they not planning on sticking around?If they were only herefor a short time was it worth Sam risking his heart and puttinghimself out there?
“Why do I get the feelingsomething else has happened?”Nick said, and Sam looked up from hiscoffee cup.“And whatever it is, you are adding it to the rest ofthe list of why you shouldn’t be here.”
Sam sighed.“Because it has.Christ, Ithink I am so fucked up that I am looking at everything too hard.Something that should just be a speed bump is turning into a hugeass barrier all because of my fucked up childhood.”
“You wanna start there?”Aiden asked.“I figure we start at the beginning and work our wayforward, deal with everything you have mounting against us onepiece at a time until it’s nothing but wood chips.”
Sam grinned and with hope in hisheart, he told them the story of his childhood.“Most kids are bornto parents who want them, right?I mean, in the grand scheme ofthings, child abusers, and mistaken pregnancies aside, most parentsare looking for a child to love.And my parents were no different.When they found out they were pregnant, they were both over themoon!They had pictures all over the house of my mom through allthe different stages of the pregnancy from the moment the stickturned blue to the moment she brought a red-faced screaming babyboy into this world.Everything was perfect.They had only everwanted the one child, and they doted on him.His first everythingwas documented, and he was given only the best of anything he mighthave needed.Their world came crashing down around them when he wasdiagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia at the age offive.”
Both Nick and Aiden shared a look thenturned back to Sam with questions in their eyes, but Sam held up ahand to stop them.“Just let me tell the story my way, okay?”Hewaited until they both nodded, after a little hesitation, and hecontinued with his story.“My parents were both from affluentfamilies, and they could afford the very best in medical care fortheir son.No procedure, no matter how costly, was dismissed.Theywould do anything to save their son.Even do the unthinkable andhave another child.”
Sam swallowed the lump that had formedin his throat.“And that child was me.I was born when Thomas wasalmost eight.He had been living with and fighting cancer for threeyears.My parents had me in order to create a perfect genetic matchfor Thomas to give him the best chance at survival.They used invitro fertilization to ensure the perfect match, and they harvesteda lot of plasma, cells, bone marrow, and other things from me inorder to help my brother stay alive.”Sam took a deep breath.Hehadn’t realized how hard it was going to be to tell thisstory.
“Fuck, is that evenlegal?”Nick asked, disgust in his voice, and even though he knewNick’s anger was directed at his parents, Sam had to fight the urgeto flinch.“Who does that to a child, let alone one of yourown?”
Aiden looked at Sam with sadness inhis eyes.“Did it work?”
Sam shook his head, hating thefeelings of failure and shame that rolled over him.“No, it didn’t.When I was seven years old, Thomas took a very severe turn for theworse.He was almost fifteen and had been living in and out ofhospitals for more than two-thirds of his life.The doctors saidthat the only way to save him would be for a kidney transplant, andof course, I was a perfect match.The surgery was arranged, and thenight before I was admitted to the hospital and put into the sameroom as my brother at his request.Thomas and I were brothers.Wegot on, and loved each other like brothers do, despite howdifferently our parents treated us.I told him how scared I wasabout the surgery, and he told me that night that he didn’t want tosuffer anymore.”Sam’s voice broke on the last word, and he clearedhis throat so he could continue.
“Sam,” Nick said in a softvoice, reaching out a hand to gently unwrap Sam’s tense fingersfrom around his coffee cup.He was holding it so damn tightly hewas in danger of shattering it.“You don’t have to continue.Aidenand I can see how hard this is on you.”
Sam shook his head, if he didn’tfinish it now, he never would.“I want you to know—to understandwhy I think the way I do.Just let me finish this.”Nick keptNick’s hand in his, and he and Aiden both nodded.Taking strengthfrom them both, Sam continued.“Thomas was tired.He had resignedhimself to death a long time before that night, but through themiracles of modern medicine and the stubborn nature of both myparents, he had lived longer than anyone ever thought hewould.
“That night, he admittedthat he just wanted to sleep, and for the pain to be gone forever.He told me to go to bed, and go to sleep and that in the morning,everything would be fine.He said that he was the big brother andthat night for the first time he would be acting like one.He saidI wouldn’t be having the surgery and he would be out of pain.Iknew what he was saying, but I didn’t call anyone or react.Isimply did as my big brother asked me to do.We lay in that damnhospital room for a long time, simply staring at each other in themuted light.As I drifted into sleep, Thomas smiled over at me, andhe thanked me for being his little brother.He told me he loved me.They were the last things I heard him say before I fell asleep, andthat would be the last time my brother spoke.”
Sam felt the tears sliding down hisface, but he ignored them.“I woke in the morning to the sound ofmy mother screaming hysterically over Thomas’s body.My father wasraging at the doctors, at the nurses, and at me, and blamingeveryone for taking the one thing in his life that meant anythingto him.They said that Thomas’s heart just gave out sometime duringthe night, but I know better.Thomas gave up.He wanted to protectme, and he wanted to end his suffering and he simply allowedhimself to die.”
Nick growled as he stood from theother side of the kitchen table, strode around and dropped to hisknees beside Sam, pulling him into his arms.“I’m sorry about yourbrother.That is a shitty thing for your damn parents to do totheir child, but you had to watch your brother suffer and thatwould have been hard.”
Sam nodded as he fought the tears thathe’d held at bay for so damn long.
Aiden suddenly appeared on the otherside and pressed against him.“How did your parents treat you afterthat, Sam?Were they distant?”
Sam barked a humorless laugh.“Distant?Sometimes.When they weren’t they were berating me,blaming me, and my father turned to alcohol and his fists to showme how disappointed he was in me for letting his son die.I wasnever their son.I was the medical cure they endured in hope ofsaving the one they loved above all others.”
Aiden sighed and tightened his hold onSam.“I get it now, Sam.I get your hesitation and why you ran fromus all those months ago.You lived your childhood with peopletelling you time and time again that you were not as important assomeone else.You’re worried that Nick and I will only ever see youas second in our relationship.”
Sam felt Nick freeze against him as henodded.“The two of you are together.You are both committed toeach other and have been together for a decent amount of time.It’shard enough to find your way in the world of a new relationshipwhen everyone is on the same page, but when you are coming inhalfway through the book?”Sam shook his head.“How the hell am Isupposed to find my place?I can’t just be a third wheel.I can’tbe less important.Or what if something happens between us and thetwo of you resent each other for it?I couldn’t handle that.Then—”
Sam would have argued further, butNick had effectively swallowed Sam’s fears with his mouth, and Sammelted in against him, giving himself over to the man and thesensations he was building within him.
ChapterEight
Nick poured as much of himself intohis kiss as he could, trying to tell Sam without words what hadbeen in his heart from the first moment they’d been together.Hereached up to grip Sam’s face in his hands, tilting him to theangle Nick wanted.Then he swooped in, claiming Sam’s mouth with athrust of his tongue as he licked into the younger man’s mouth.Hereveled in Sam’s groan of desire, and he felt the flex of hisfingers against his hips.Nick marveled again at the differencebetween him and Aiden.When Aiden always fought for dominance withhis kiss, Sam acquiesced immediately and that was hotter thanfuck.
Pulling back before he lost controlcompletely and simply fucked Sam on the chair, Nick leaned hisforehead against Sam’s their breaths mingling as they fought to getenough air.“I don’t know how to put that into words, Sam.Youwould never be second to us.We would never be more important thanyou.”
His heart ached for Sam at the storyhe’d just told.Nick had no idea how anyone could treat anotherhuman being like that, let alone their own damn child.Despiteknowing it would hurt Sam, he was so tempted to hunt down hisparents and show them the error of their ways.
