I didn't talk to him about this, but I know now that Ana is in danger and I need to protect her. I also know that my stalker is escalating if he's sending stuff to Greg.
Joshua ignores Duncan. "I can do it for free if you were my employee." His reply is so matter-of-fact.
"I have a job. I don't want to be asked again. If I wanted a job, I'd come to you. For that fucking matter, I can go to your competition. I'm not playing around here. Don't push me again!" I'm angry now, I'm sick of this shit. Why do I have to give up my life? Why do I have to end my dreams?
"Bloody hell, Maya, I was just making the offer, but if you want to do this, meet me at the office in an hour, or for that matter, take me, I don't have my vehicle."
"Maya, explain this to me, now." Duncan is outraged.
Well, too fucking bad.
"Fine, go shower. See you shortly. As for you, honey, I'll discuss this with you at the office too. For your information, that was Greg, nothing turned up in the search of my condo. Also, if you pressure someone else to offer me a job or push me again, I’ll leave. Got it? No, ifs, ands, or buts about it, I'll be gone." I don't tell him about Greg's delivery.
"Bloody hell!" He storms from the room. Joshua walks intothe spare room and then leaves with his clothes in his arms. I can't believe I lost my shit that way.
I wanted to yell and rail at Duncan. He wants me to sacrifice my life in DC for him. I stop and pause as a troubling thought comes to mind. Is he trying to ask for something longer than boyfriend-girlfriend? My chest constricts and I feel like I can't breathe. I can't and won't hurt him that way. Damn it! I call Derek.
"Hey, sexy, how's it hanging?" He always makes me smile.
"I think I'm fucking it up already. He wants me to get a job here and I got mad at him. I don't want to leave my job yet. I have more to do. I can't leave you or Greg. I can't put him in danger if my stalker does follow me."
"Listen, Maya, you need to make that decision. Dad and I will be okay without you. You and I both know our job is making us both unhappy. We thought we were making a difference, instead we're helping those we fight. As for your stalker, I hope we can finally get that under control soon. Love doesn't happen all the time. Is that what this is?"
"I don't know, maybe. My chest hurts because he's in the shower and mad at me right now. I feel like I'm going to pass out."
"Ya, that sounds close. Take it from someone who lost it all, don't let it slip through your fingers."
"Derek, I can't trust myself or someone else again. You know where I'll go if I lose him. I couldn’t handle his death, too." I rub my watch against my wrist and worry about killing someone else.
"Maya, let go and fall. I need to go, take care, sexy."
"What're you up to?" I ask, sure I know the answer.
"Today is the twenty-fourth, I have my yearly date. Maybe someday I won’t feel the need to go through this." He sounds so lost.
"Be careful. I'm here if you need me. Call our friend if it gets bad. Bye." I hang up and think of all he has lost and all I've lost. Can I really take that chance with Duncan?
I'm standing by the windows looking out at nothing. My head drops and I feel the pain as if it were yesterday. I killed them.
"Derek on the phone again?" Duncan asks from behind me. I raise my head and turn.
"Yep. It’s the anniversary today and he's hurting; plus, I needed to talk to him."
"So you can speak to him but not me?" He sounds jealous and angry.
"Sometimes. He's my sounding board, and my best friend. He's hurting bad today; I'm usually there for him."
"You keep telling me not to worry. But then you say things like that. In a relationship, the other person is your sounding board. What am I?"
"I've known him since I was nineteen. Please don't be jealous of him, I don't think of him that way. I've explained to you that he and Greg have been a part of my life for a long time. Your father introduced us all."
"But he thinks of you that way."
"No, he doesn't. He sees me as an annoying little sister."
"All men look at you and think that, baby. You aren't only gorgeous, but you're very special. Trust me, I'm male and I watch how other men look at you."
"Well, thank you, but no, he doesn't look at any woman that way. Not anymore. Maybe someday he'll see someone, but not today."
