"Ana, where are you calling from? This isn't your cell number."
"This is Jonathon's cell, my cell phone broke."
"Okay. Ya, I'm getting ready to go into a briefing right now. See you tomorrow morning."
"I love you, Maya. We need to talk. Oh, I got to go." She hangs up. I thought I heard Jonathon saying something angry to her in the background. I need to talk to her, too.
"Ana checking up on you?"
"Yes. Duncan, is she okay?" I bite my lip.
"I don't know, but I worry. We need to talk to her."
"I worry too, and yes we need to speak with her. She doesn't call me like she used to. When she does, it’s cryptic comments."
"What do you mean cryptic?" He rises up on his side to look down at me.
"She keeps telling me that if anything happens to her, she'll make sure I know what to do. She asks me to take care of you and James. She even talks like she's dying or going to die."
"Really?"
"Yes. I'm terrified. Something is wrong. Duncan, if something happens to her, what will I do?"
"Baby, you’ve got me too. Don't worry. We'll talk to her tomorrow after we tell her about us. Why don't you invite her to go shopping with us the day after that?"
"Okay."
"Get some rest, baby." He leans down and kisses me, and Imelt into him more. He breaks the kiss, kisses my nose and pulls me tight against him. He's looking at me carefully.
"When was the last time you slept more than napping?"
"It's been a while," I confess.
"Why?"
"Why can't I sleep? Or why haven't I slept?"
"Both."
"I can't sleep because of the nightmares. The night my parents died, I was asleep. I woke up an orphan. I don't want to fall asleep and wake up to more people I care about dead. Lately, I've been having nightmares about those two children yelling at me that I killed their parents." I can't tell him about my stalkers and the dreams of him dying too.
"Baby, that was a justified shooting and you were right in not killing him. As for your parents, I used to have nightmares about my mum. Now, I have nightmares about a friend dying in Afghanistan. I know how hard it is. Do you talk to someone?"
"When I need to. It only seems to work with you and your sister."
"What works?" He looks at me, his eyebrow raising.
"Me being able to sleep. When your sister brought me here after they died, I woke up screaming. Ana crawled into bed with me and held my hand. I slept for the first time in weeks. Now, I need to drink till I pass out, take sleeping pills, or just doze. Except for with you, I haven't been able to sleep on my own."
He puffs up his chest. "Oh yeah, baby, it's all me." I giggle. I know he's trying to lighten the mood.
"I'm serious. In college I attempted to sleep with Carl and I ended up slugging him when he held me down."
"Who's Carl? And why would he hold you down?"
"Well...he was my boyfriend in college. We were in biathlon together and dated for a couple of years. One night I decided to see if I could sleep all night with him in my apartment. He tried to hold me down when I started thrashing around. He ended up with his hands around my throat because of the way I was moving around in my nightmare. I slugged him, breaking his nose. He broke up with me right then, telling me I was no good at relationships and he was seeing someone else. He only stayed with me that night to get lucky he said. My roommate threatened to kill him if he ever touched me again."
"What a wanker, serves him right for holding you down. Now relax and try to sleep, baby." I lay my head on his chest, he pulls my hand to his heart, and I actually fall asleep.
