He laughs.
“I know what you mean about impact,” I say. “But that might be easier than you think. You’ve got lots of opportunity there.” I stand up so I can move next to him on the couch. He startles when I sit next to him, but then he lets his hand brush my leg.
He turns his head toward me, his face only a few inches from mine. “I like hearing you talk about it. The way you get into maternal health, for example.”
“It’s hard not to. Women living in poverty have higher risks of complications during pregnancy. And Black women are much more likely to have problems. It’s fucking shameful.” I liftmy hand. “Not that I’m some hero. Making sure people have access to good care is the lowest of low bars.”
He takes my hand and runs his thumb over the back of it. Despite how much we’ve already touched, this feels more intimate than anything we’ve done. My pulse roars, drowning out the sound of the icemaker and the rumble of a car out on the street.
“I wasn’t going to call you a hero,” Grant says. “I know that’s not why you care.” He keeps stroking my hand. “Sounds like you saw a lot when you were doing labor and delivery.”
I wrinkle my nose. “Yeah, I had to take some time to decide if that’s what I want to do or not. It’s given me some pause about pregnancy, I’ll tell you that.”
“I understand.” He links his fingers with mine, and I let him. “Tell me what you meant when you said you had a lot of help escaping poverty. That’s something you said a while back.”
“Gosh, lots of things. You remember Ms. Morgan? Our English teacher senior year?”
He nods again.
“She found some different scholarships for me to apply for. She helped me with getting fees waived for applications. She even straight up paid for one of them out of her pocket.”
“Wow,” Grant says.
“I know. I sent her a check later, but she never cashed it. I had other people who helped me out—college professors, and family friends. I had a job in college, and sometimes I had to bum rides when my car broke down, but that’s just little stuff.” I swallow. “I took advantage of lots of campus programs. I was always on the lookout for free and used stuff. I had food stamps. That kind of thing.”
He nods. “I’m glad you had the help.”
“You can’t do it alone,” I say. “That’s a bullshit myth.” I stare out his front window. The dusky sky doesn’t allow for much view other than our own reflections. “Even though I have a lotof pride. Too much. Sometimes it feels like it’s been me against the world.”
“I’m proud of you too.” He tilts his chin toward the coffee table, where our work is piled. “We going to finish that up?”
I gulp. “That’s what I came over here to do.”
“And now? What do you want to do now?”
“We can’t get physical again, right?”
His thumb caresses the back of my hand. That point of contact shoots a line of warmth all the way up my arm, and down into my pelvis. “I’ve never wanted anyone as badly as I want you.”
“Grant . . .”
“It’s okay,” he says. “It’s up to you.”
I want him. So much. This is madness.
“Yes,” I whisper. “Kiss me, Grant.”
He leans in and cups one side of my face with his hands. Then he captures my lips with his own. The way we melt together is sodelicious,I can’t decide whether I want to savor this or rush to the next part. He breaks away to trail kisses over my jaw and down my throat. His urgency makes itself clear in the frantic pace of his movements. He cups my head, slides his hands along my waist, puts his lips on my mouth again with enough fervor to make my breath catch.
I slide one leg over his lap and straddle him. We kiss and I roll my hips against his, eliciting a long moan from him. Without warning, he cups his hands under my ass and stands with me, so that my legs are gripping his waist and he’s walking us toward what I assume is his bedroom.
I tear my face away from his. “Grant! You can’t carry me. I’m not some tiny little woman.”
“I’m strong,” he says, though his voice is a little breathy and the tendons in his neck stand out.
I bounce along with him until we reach his bedroom door. “Congrats on the testosterone, I guess,” I say.
He chuckles before letting me fall back into his bed.
