KENDALL
Grant finds me in the clinic on Monday morning while I’m combing through some of our patient messages at my desk. I’m responding to someone’s question about using paper towels as a wound dressing for their incision —the answer to that is no, and also what happened to the adhesive dressing we gave you?—when he pulls up next to me in a rolling chair. He holds his hands up like I might be about to arrest him.
“I know you don’t really want to talk to me,” he says.
I look around to make sure we’re alone. “Yeah? What gave you that idea?”
Grant winces. I study his face. His smooth skin, sharp jawline, and long eyelashes make for a striking combo. And an orthopedic surgeon too. He doesn’t deserve all that.
“Now that I know it’s you, it’s obvious,” he says.
“Huh. I’m glad I still look like myself.”
“I’m sorry. Is there anything I can do to make this better?” His soft lips turn down, and my gaze snags there. I loathe him, yes, but I do wonder what it would be like to kiss him. I shake off the errant thought. What the hell is wrong with me? That would be absurd.
“You have a quarter million dollars for med school for me?”
He laughs. It’s such a bright, sunny sound, even in his deep voice, that I’m startled into a smile.
“I don’t even think that would be enough,” he says softly. “I would give you some money if you really wanted. But I can help you in other ways. I can help mentor you. Or I can leave you alone, like you asked.”
Grantshouldn’tget to feel better. He should have to stew in his regret forever. I throw him a bone anyway.
“You can give me the kindness you didn’t give me when you were younger,” I say. “And to everyone else. I also wouldn’t say no to a couple free lunches.”
He smiles again. “Done.”
“What’s done?” Dr. Gambill, another third-year resident and the most aggressively average man I’ve ever met, walks into the room. Grant calls him George, and I think it rankles him that his peers don’t use his title.
“Grant’s career in ortho,” I say. “He’s switching to dermatology.”
George—I’ve heard his first name so much I’ve started to think of him that way—wrinkles his nose. “Ew.”
Well, that seems uncalled for. “You’d both get more sleep that way, I bet.” I grin at George, but he doesn’t return it. Hmm. Tough crowd. I’ve noticed that about him, that he’s stuffier than Grant ever was.
Grant turns toward me and rolls his eyes. I’ve also noticed he and George don’t get along very well. At first I thought that could be a point in George’s favor, but now I’m not sure.
We disperse to get on with the rest of our day. At lunchtime, I find a mini-cheese pizza on my desk, still hot in its cardboard container. The note on top says, “Enjoy. I went out on a limb because everyone likes pizza.”
I sigh. I hate him, but he keeps making everything confusing.
The next day, Grant talks me through his hip revision surgery with Dr. Fields. The attending is doing a lot of this one since it’s more complex, but Grant narrates along with Dr. Fields.
“You want to come see this part?” He gestures at me, and even though I’m scrubbing in again today, and I’ve gotten to see this surgery before, it’s still nice to be included. “You can stand at my back here if you want.”
I do just that, inching up behind him until his body heat brushes against me. I peer around his shoulder.
“She’s had some bone loss here,” Grant says. “We have to augment it before we can put in the new prosthesis.”
I watch Dr. Fields work. Grant’s assisting with the retractors. I’ve seen these surgeries a lot, but it is fun when I get to observe for just a moment, especially since Grant’s making an effort to teach me.
I ask a few questions before George speaks up.
“Does she need to know all of this?” He nods toward me. His tone isn’t mean-spirited, exactly, but it grates on me all the same.
“She’s going to med school,” Dr. Fields says, not looking up from the patient. His lips purse. “And besides that, there’s nothing wrong with learning. The more we all know, the better.”
“Right. Of course.” George nods but doesn’t look convinced. I guess he’s one of those almighty surgeon types who doesn’t think nurses deserve his time.
