“Yes, now that Nelly’s been married off, your aunt can take up your case.”
“There’s no need to present it likethat, Barbara,” Rose said with a frown.
Though she already knew shewouldgo, Belinda heard herself say, “Oh aunt, my future is not your responsibility, and surely you have done enough for me already.”
She felt this in her very bones every time she thought of her visits to Whitehall — the food, the clothes, the dance lessons.
“Oh Lindy, stop trying to tie your own corset!” Mrs Everson chided, her knitting needles momentarily still. “There’s no shame in using your connexions to ensure a better life for yourself.”
There is if I want to prove myselftomyself!Stifling her heart’s cry, Belinda said, “But Mamma, you cannot yet do the washing on your own.”
“I would not keep you here in Trippingham just to launder shirts and drawers! Besides, I feel stronger every day, and Mrs Bosworth is always eager to earn a few pennies. ”
Lindy dropped heavily onto the settee, another worry on her lips. “Nell did not like being in London, and I am not nearly so venturesome as she is.”
“Darling,” Rose sat down next to her. “Certainly you would find a few little rout-parties and trips to the theatre agreeable.”
And that is where you plan on introducing me to the ‘eligible young men’ you mentioned to Mamma? How could I ever find any man agreeable after knowing Mr Alwyn? That is one matter that must be settled at once.
“Aunt, I need to tell you…I do not intend to marry.”
“Don’t be foolish, girl!” her mother squawked. “Marriage is the best way to ensure you’ll live comfortably in your dotage, and if you choose wisely, you may actually find happiness.”
“That seems highly unlikely,” Belinda murmured, drawing a peal of laughter from her aunt.
“Oh Lindy, why so fatalistic?”
“I’m simply rational! Many women do not marry — our new queen has no husband, and yet she wears the crown.”
“But there is only one throne in England,” her mother said dryly. “Andyouare not in line for it.
“Well I hardly thought I was,” Belinda muttered. “But there are other ways that members of our sex may make their way in the world.”
Ignoring her mother’s frown, she folded her hands in her lap, over the pocket whereMansfield Parkwas tucked, and a notion stirred within her mind.
“If Iwereto go to town, it would only be with the intention of—”
She cleared her throat as her half-formed thought clotted like cream.
“—of looking for a respectable lady whom I might serve as a companion.”
The sisters were quiet until, smoothing her brow, Rose asked delicately, “You want to becomea lady’s companion?”
“Yes.”
The room fell even more silent, if that were possible.
They don’t believe me,Lindy thought.“Catherine is a lady’s maid, which is not so very different.”
“The unusual circumstances suit her natural disposition.” Aunt Rose shrugged.
“Well, certainlymynatural disposition would allow me to keep an elderly woman at ease,” Lindy countered. Then, as if magically, several facts formed neatly on her tongue. “I remain calm during little upsets. I have a strong voice for reading, and a neat hand for writing. I’m always happy to make a fourth at the card table, and I’m sure I would not grow weary going upstairs to fetch shawls to fend off draughts, or tinctures to settle coughs.”
Her mother snorted. “Your days would be dull as tombs!”
“Some of them would, yes — perhaps evenmostof them, but I would enjoy a sort of respectable independence, and with Aunt Rose’s help, surely I could find an employer who…”
She barely caught herself from saying, ‘who would not make me miserable’.
