Arden liked that. He touched Jack’s cheek shyly. “I will?”
“Yes.”
A small flicker of that spirit Arden had spent the better part of two decades hiding sparked in his pretty grey eyes. “I’ll be very gentle,” he said. “You mustn’t worry.”
Even though he was joking, Jack took it seriously. “I know you will. I can hardly wait.”
Arden shifted restlessly between Jack’s hands, and licked his lips. “You don’t…you don’t have to wait,” he offered.
Jack tipped forwards and rested his forehead against Arden’s chest again. His teasing groan was muffled. “I do! The suppressants are brutally efficient. If I try to take you as I want to, things will quickly turn unpleasant.”
“What does that mean?” Arden said, worried.
“I shall vomit.”
Arden sucked in a short breath. “That…does not sound very romantic.”
“No, it doesn’t. Suppressants are designed to overrule the urge to rut. The stronger the urge, the stronger the effect they have. I want you so, so desperately, my Arden, that it would be truly revolting. And then I’d black out.”
Arden gave a horrified giggle.
Jack laughed up at him and caught his breath when Arden smiled back. He had no idea how transparent he was, had he? Gods, his face was suffused with the love he felt for Jack. Heglowedwith it.
Confusion quickly dimmed the light, but Jack would put it back there soon enough. He ignored the stabbing, roiling pain in his gut.
“How could you possibly want me when you’re only attracted to alphas?” Arden said.
This wasn’t the moment for a passionate confession that Arden wouldn’t allow himself to believe. Jack forced the words back. Arden had been through enough for now, and even though he seemed no more aware of his rising heat than he had by all accounts been in the first phase, he was definitely going back under, and in the next few hours would be lost to it once more.
“I won’t argue that I’ve only ever been attracted to alphas,” he said. “Now and for some time, I have only been attracted toonealpha. And to you.”
Arden looked skeptical.
Jack tugged him closer. “Is it so unbelievable that I’d want you? To know you is to admire you, Arden. I have known you for a very long time, after all.”
“It does sound unbelievable. I don’t see how how you can want both of us. We are so different.”
“Perhaps it is because you are so different. My big, strong, practical Beckett. My sweet, delicate, sensitive Arden.” He exhaled a deep, satisfied breath. “I am the luckiest man in the world.”
And Arden was the politest. Even so, Jack saw the very clear struggle he fought not to scoff at this.
“I thought this was a marriage of convenience,” Arden said. “I thought you were just doing it for my father’s sake. And a little for mine, because we were once friends.”
“I’m not as noble as you seem determined to paint me. I did it for my sake. Because I wanted you to be mine. I didn’t anticipate you having a heat. Truthfully, I didn’t think you’d want me in your bed. I didn’t expect it.”
“Of course I want you in my bed,” Arden said, and turned a dull shade of magenta.
“You do?” Jack lifted a hand to the base of Arden’s throat, brushing light fingertips along the delicate wing of his collarbone. Arden shivered. “I’m happy to hear that. I took the suppressants because I wanted to be there for you even if I couldn’t be with you. You don’t know Beckett yet. I didn’t want you to be afraid. Were you? No. Don’t answer. I know you were.”
“Not once you were there. And before that, I was afraid, but mostly of myself. Of what was happening. What…what I wanted.”
“I am sorry, Arden. I will always be sorry.”
“It’s not your fault,” Arden said. He dropped his gaze as he shrugged his shoulders. They didn’t come all the way back down,remaining visibly higher with tension when he said, “It’s mine. For…for being like Lassit?—”
“No,” Jack said sharply, making Arden jump. “No,” he said again. “Anything Lassit has ever had to say about you, or about omegas in general, can safely be disregarded. He is an idiot.”
“He is your friend.”
