But now that the confession is out in the room, a weight lifts from my shoulders, as if the confession alone released some of the tension that was haunting me.
“What?” His hand stills in my hair for a moment before continuing, sliding down before repeating the movement.
“I don’t want to go back.” This time, my voice is shaky, and I close my eyes tightly. It’s strange to speak it aloud, these words I never ever imagined myself saying, but I also never thought I’d find myself falling deeply in love in a small town. I never imagined I’d see my responsibilities and career as something that’s getting in the way of my happiness.
“You have to give me more, honey,” he says low, the words patient as he always is with me. I realize now that he always has been this way with me, even when I was driving him crazy, even when I first showed up, and he wanted me to walk the straight and narrow. He’s always been patient and understanding in his own way, keeping a pulse on what I was happy to do andwhat I wasn’t, adjusting plans and expectations accordingly. It drives Jackie crazy, since she sometimes sees it as him playing things too safely, but I understand now he’s always had my best interests in mind. Me, Willa Stone, the girl, not Willa Stone, the brand.
“I don’t want to go back to real life.” Silence takes over, Leo giving me time before I break it again. “I don’t want to go back to the city or to being followed around or pretending I’m this person I don’t think I really am anymore.”
Leo is quiet for a few moments, and my heart races before he finally speaks.
“Do you want to quit?” There isn’t judgment or shock or fear in the words, and that gives me the room I need to be honest, both with him and myself.
DoI want to quit?
This is the last album I have on my contract. I could record it, go on tour, and then fade into oblivion. I could live a normal life here in Holly Ridge, put my old life behind me, and never look back. It’s not like I work because I need the money, after all.
But the mere thought of not continuing to make music, not performing, or recording or writing sends a bolt of dismay through me, answering my question quickly.
“No,” I say, because it’s the truth. I can’t imagine a life without music. It’s what I love most of all. I want to sing, perform, and meet fans. I want to keep selling out stadiums and touring the circuits, but on my terms. “I love my career. I love the fans, and I love performing, but I don’t like…the rest of it. I don’t love the interviews, the events, the paparazzi, and the pressure of it all.”
He continues to lie beside me quietly, his hand making reassuring movements against my hair as I process what I’m feeling.
“I never thought I could have the kind of peace I’ve found here, but I did, and now that I have it, I don’t want to let it go. Being here made me realize I want a life where I can have that and what I have here.”
“And you’ll have it,” he murmurs in his soft voice. Normally, it appeases me, especially when paired with his closeness and his fingers moving through my hair, but I can’t deny it anymore—the panic and nervous energy that’s been creeping in from the sidelines for weeks now, lying in wait to strike.
“How? How are we going to do this?” I whisper, my throat aching. “How am I supposed to just…leave all of this? How am I going to just leave you?”
“You’re not leaving me, Willa,” he says.
“But everything is going to be different,” I say, the words spilling out quickly. “What if it all falls apart? What if you see that version of me again and?—”
“Hey, hey, hey,” he says, cutting me off. “What’s going on?” My lower lip wobbles. “Honey, how long have you been worried about this?” I lift a shoulder, trying not to look at him, embarrassed. “Willa, you have to talk to me about this kind of thing, or else it’s going to eat at you.”
“I didn’t exactly want to remind you that I was going to date another man, Leo.” He smiles at my attitude, and something about that eases the vise in my chest just a fraction. “How are you so okay with all of this? If you were dating some other chick in front of me, I’d lose my mind, Leo. And you’re so…calm.”
“That’s because you’re not dating another man in front of me, Willa. You’re going to be doing your job. I’m man enough, confident enough in what we have, to separate the two. Am I pleased that I’m going to see photos of you on some asshole’s arm? Not exactly, but that’s your job, and I told you before: I will never get in the way of that. It’s no different than acting for a movie or a show, and if you wanted to go back to that, I wouldbe just fine with it. I’m okay with it, because he’s not actually getting you, Willa,” Leo says, voice firm and reassuring as he sits up and then pulls me into his lap so my legs wrap around his hips, our faces close, his forehead to mine.
“Here’s how it’s going to go. Tomorrow, I’m driving both of us to the city, and we’re going to walk into the building together, because I’ve already agreed to take you. Then we’re going to sit in that meeting and let Jefferson think he’s cowed me, you’re going to meet another asshole who doesn’t deserve you, and he’s going to schmooze you because we all know that no matter what Jefferson does or says, if he is an ass to you in front of Jackie or me, he’s done.” Nerves move through me, remembering that it’s not just me who has something on the line here: Leo does, too.
“Leo, I don’t want you to get into trouble, I–”
“I won’t be any more protective of you than I always have been, and we both know I’ve always been a little protective of you, if not a little standoffish.”
“I guess…I guess that makes sense,” I agree, because it does. Looking back, Leohasalways been protective of me.
“Then you’re going to go back to your place. Not your home, because we both know your home is here, with me, in Holly Ridge.” A tear falls at his blunt words, and he swipes it away quickly with his thumb. “You’re going to get ready, and then you’re going to go on your date. It’s going to suck, knowing you’re out with him, but when you’re done, and you’re home, you’re going to call me and tell me all about it, and honestly, Willa? That’s all that matters. All that matters is that at the end of the night, you’re mine. You can go play pretend, be the fake version of yourself for everybody else, but every night, I go to bed knowing I get the version that dances in the rain and on tables and who toilet papers houses. I get the version who eats chicken nuggets in my truck and calls it the best meal ever. And every night, I’m going to get the version that whispersI love youin the sweetest, softest voice, and I get to know I’m the only one who gets that.” Another tear falls, and he swipes that one away, too. “And we’ll do that every fucking night, Willa. Every night until you’re done. Next month, you’ll come home for Hallie and Jesse’s wedding, and we’ll have our normalcy for a weekend, and then you’ll be home again for Christmas, and you’ll meet my mom.” My eyes widen with his declaration, which is news to me. In the past few weeks, I’ve been around while he spoke to his mom on the phone and asked him to say hello for me, but we’ve never actually had themeet the parentstalk.
“What?” I say, my voice squeaky with a different kind of nervous energy, and his lips tip up with a smile. “Your mom?”
“She’s going to love you, Will. She already loves you because she knows that you’ve changed me for the better.”
“I—”
He keeps talking, forcing me to move past that momentary shock, if only just for now.
“And then in February, your relationship will end, and in July, my contract will be up. I’ll be free to quit and start my own firm; we’ll make it official; and then we’llnever do this again.” He says the words like a vow, his hands on my face pulling me closer for a soft press of his lips to mine before he speaks against them. “We are never going to be apart again unless we have to.”
