Clearly, she still doesn’t understand.
“I remember every single moment I’ve ever spent with you, Willa, but I definitely remember the first time I met you.” She stares at me, awe written across her face, before she shakes her head and looks at the plate again.
“Still haven’t had one. This will be another first,” she whispers, and I sit down.
“I told you, I’m going to give you all of the ones you want, honey.” Her face goes soft, but she doesn’t say anything else, instead picking up the pastry before her and taking a small bite. I watch with anticipation, strangely hoping she enjoys it.
“Okay, I’ve definitely been missing out.”
I grin, then sit back and enjoy her company. We sit for a few minutes, sipping our coffee. I can tell she’s itching to ask something, and though I don’t know exactly what, I do know there is very little unknown in Willa’s life, and that what small amount there is always makes her uneasy.
She confirms my thoughts when she finally breaks the silence. “So…how does this work?”
“Work?” I ask, knowing what she’s asking, but wanting her to say it.
“You and me. I mean...we’re….”
“We’re together, Willa.”
That makes her smile, a look she hides with another small bite and some thoughtful chewing.
“Okay, we’re together. But I’m assuming no one can know?” The decision weighs heavily on me, something I mulled over and over in my mind while she was getting ready, but each time I came to the same conclusion.
“No one in our professional life can know,” I agree. At first, I thought of telling her we could tell anyone we wholeheartedly trusted, since I’m sure Riggins and the rest of the Atlas Oaks guys will get a kick out of this finally happening, and I know they would never tell a soul if I asked them not to. Still, I wasn’t sure where Jackie would fall on that spectrum, and I am not ready to have that talk with Willa yet, the talk where I admit that I don’t trust her manager, or her intentions with Willa. So, for now, I keep things simple. “At least, not for a while.”
“What about outside of our professional life, like here in Holly Ridge? The girls?—”
God, I love that. I love that she has this now, a group of women she wants to share things with, because looking back, I know she’s never had that. It’s also very telling that she doesn’t instantly think of Jackie when she thinks of someone to confide something in.
“I’ll talk with the guys; you talk with the girls. We tell them what we are to each other. We keep PDA low when out and about, but I think we should be okay here.” She scrunches her nose when I say minimal PDA, and I smile. “Not non-existent PDA, especially where we’re comfortable, like the Mill, but in places we don’t know everybody, like, say, the home improvement store, I won’t be pinning you to a shelf and making out with you.”
“Okay,” she agrees. “That makes sense.” I watch as she takes another bite, chewing for a moment before a thought rises in her mind and makes her face sour. My stomach drops as I wait for her next argument.
“My relationship with Chris starts in September,” she reminds me gently, as if I wasn’t the main contact for settling that up. I reach over and push her hair back, forcing her to look at me instead of her nearly empty plate.
“I know.”
“I can’t…I can’t bail on it. Contracts have been signed, and too many people are involved. If we canceled, it would cause way too many headaches, and Jackie would lose her mind if we went off the pre-determined plan.”
I nod, knowing this as well.
I mulled over this this morning before she woke up, and I fell asleep with it on my mind.
Contemplating what would happen if, now that Willa and I were making a go of it, despite her current career expectations and responsibilities. I laid out a dozen different options, andeach time, I came up with the same answer: I will never get in the way of her career.
“Absolutely. If you back out at this point, there would be too high a chance of rumors flying or the truth slipping out, ruining a decade of brand building.” I don’t miss the slight twinge of irritation that moves across her face with those words, but it’s gone almost as quick as I see it. “The media is forgiving with you, but if everyone finds out all of your relationships have been fake to trick people into becoming invested in you, it would be an uphill battle.”
She nods, a hint of relief on her face as she realizes I’m not going to fight her on that.
I wonder for a moment if there have been others over the years who couldn’t see past her obligations, her drive, her career, but the thought of any other man with Willa sours my stomach, so I brush it off as quickly as it comes.
“I’m going to have to date Chris for six months,” she says. I reach out when I notice her nervousness, grabbing her hand and twining my fingers with hers. For a single, unhinged moment, my eyes linger on her ring finger, always empty, the one line she’s always held. Once, two years ago, Jackie suggested a fake marriage or engagement, but Willa instantly shot that down, one of the only times I’ve seen her say no to something Jackie suggested.
“If I ever get married one day,”she said, her voice strong, “It will be for real. I’ll never fake that, Jackie.” Jackie was unhappy, but she must have seen the fire in her eyes that I spotted, and never mentioned it again. But I never forgot the way she saidif I everinstead ofI will never.
“I know,” I say. “And during that time, we’ll have to be even more careful, because there’s a pretty solid cheating clause in those contracts. I’d say that unless you’re in Holly Ridge, there's absolutely no PDA, even if it will certainly kill me to be in thesame room as you and not even touch you, but we can figure that out when the time comes.”
Her brows furrow.
