“Willa, please, you’re throwing a temper tantrum like a child. I can’t believe you embarrassed me in front of everyone like that!”
I stare at her, trying to find the woman who helped raise me.
I can’t find her.
I don’t know if it’s just because my own shield is forever changed, or if the way I see things, people, and understand their expectations of me has changed so much that I can’t understand what or why she’s talking like this, but I’m lost.
“I just don’t understand where your priorities are, lately. In the past, if I told you it was a good idea, you were fine with it. If it were for the brand, you would be okay with it. You're acting different, and I’m concerned.”
“You’reconcerned? Were you concerned when Chris kept blatantly pushing boundaries? Or when the press keeps coming when I don’t expect it, priming me for a public panic attack?”
“You’re being dramatic, Willa. You know, I’ve been talking to your mom, and she agrees?—”
“Mymom?I haven’t talked to her in months! She has nothing to do with this.”
“She understands the brand we’ve been building for decades now. More than you do, recently.”
“Because I’m not trying to build a legacy! I’m trying to work my job and thenlive my life.”
“Right now, yourjobis to help rebuild Chris’s reputation, and we’re all working toward that except for you.”
That’s what it always boils down to, I suppose.
“That. That right there. That is why I’m done with this shit. Why this is the last one,” I say, my voice firm. Her face goes chiding, like a parent whose child is demanding dessert every night, here until eternity. “I’m done with the fake relationships and with using my personal life to build my brand when I’m already the biggest pop star on earth. I’m tired of bringing myself down to build up people I don’t know, much less evenlike.”
“We’ll see,” she says, and for the first time since I can remember, true, pure irritation and anger at Jackie flares to life. I wonder, though, if I’ve felt it before, if I’ve always felt it, I’ve just also always buried it beneath duty and gratitude. “You’re very emotional right now, so we won’t be making any rash decisions.”
“No, Jackie. This is the last one. That wasn’t a request: it was me telling you this as a fact. I’m telling you right now, this is the last fake relationship. I’m not doing this forever, Jackie.”
“This isn’t the time, we?—”
“It is the time because I say so. I am telling you now, not as a request, but as a courtesy. I am not having any more fake relationships.”
“Is this because of Leo?”
“Excuse me?”
She looks around, then sighs like a disappointed mother before giving me soft, disappointed eyes.
“I know you’re fucking him, Willa.”
I blanch, panicked.
“I—”
She rolls her eyes before I can explain, deny, or choose some other option I haven’t yet processed.
“I know everything about you, Willa. I manage your life, I have access to everything.” Panic runs through me at her words, unsure of just how much she means by them. What exactly does she mean byeverything? “I allowed it because you weren’t writing and then you were, and I have to admit, the album is exactly what I was hoping for.” She slides off the table, taking two delicate strides towards me before grabbing my hand. “But you should know he’s using you, Willa.”
“Jackie—”
“I know, I know you don’t want to believe it. This is your first real relationship since you were a teenager, and you’ve worked closely with him for years. Add in that he’s had months with you alone, able to twist your head up in knots, and it’s hard to see through his games. But you’ll see, Willa. He doesn’t have your best interests at heart.”
“Jackie…”
My words trail off as my heart beats loudly in my ears.
“But I have always had your career and the brand’s best interests in mind. Always. You’ll see that, at the end of the day, it has always been and always will be me. I’m the one who always wants what’s right for you. He’s only doing this with you because he is planning to leave Perfect Image and wants to ensure you’ll go with him.”
