My stomach pinches when I return to the mound and get my footing right before Wes’ pitch call comes in. We’re both playing like shit, and when I shake my head at him, rejecting the call I don’t agree with, I know we’re not about to be changing that anytime soon.
Instead, I eye the next batter and get into position. I’m not known for my slider, but that’s what I choose. With my focus on the lower left corner, I let the ball go and hold my breath when the bat swings and misses. I puff out a breath while wiping my palm down my thigh.
The tens of thousands of eyes on me don’t usually play a part in my game. I can ignore them because I’ve been doing this for my entire life, but again, this game is different. For some reason, I can feel the weight of their attention, and it’s making my skin itch.
With the sun beating down on my exposed forearms, I inhale and exhale a handful of times before getting back into position. When Wes’ call comes in, I don’t turn it down. Lining up, I focus on the weight of the ball in my hand and launch it at the high left corner. It swoops too far and nearly hits the batter’s arm. He stumbles back a few steps to avoid it.
“Fuck,” I hurl under my breath.
Sweat breaks out on the back of my neck before I wipe it away, smearing the moisture with my already wet hand. Wes’ eyes dig holes into my face behind his cage, and I don’t have it in me to shake my head to refuse his concern. It’s well placed, considering I’m self-destructing.
The player I’ve already let get onto second base draws his attention, but I refuse to look behind me to see the smug grin he must be wearing. Instead, I’m forced to watch when Wes stands and talks to the ump. The older man nods his head twice before my best friend crosses the pitch to me.
Everyone watches as he comes to talk me off the cliff I’ve found myself on, and that’s mortifying.
His hands grip my shoulders and shake me once. “What’s going on?”
“I don’t know.Fuck. I don’t know.”
“You were with Aubrey this morning. Everything okay there?”
I stiffen briefly, choking on another curse. “No.”
It could be much better. After the last few days of utter bliss, I tripped over the same crack I’ve been ignoring since I saw the gala email on her computer last night and fell flat on my face.I had been stepping over it since, hoping uselessly that it would disappear on its own. But I was too distracted by the red dress hanging in her closet this morning to think of anything besides the fact that she hadn’t asked me to go with her yet.
I stupidly hadn’t expected her to have a dress already, but there it was. Hung in the brightly lit walk-in closet she loves so much, I found it tucked inside a cloth designer bag with the price tag still attached. A pair of matching heels was laid in front of it, a glossy, rich shade of cherry red that had my dick turning to steel in my sweatpants.
She was still in the shower when I tugged the zipper down and saw the glimmering fabric, the plunging neckline and high slit stealing my breath. My only thought was that I needed to be the one beside her while she wore it. Not to stake some caveman claim on her, but just to selfishly be reminded that somehow, I got to be the lucky bastard who she chose to hang on her arm.
I didn’t mention the dress or the gala this morning, though.
As soon as I heard the shower turn off, I zipped the bag and slipped out of the closet. I left shortly after she finished getting ready, still uneasy from her lack of mentioning it once again.
Not knowing whether she’s planning on finding some random guy to join her has been riling me up all day. Has she already asked Malik? I know she had a good time with him, but I haven’t asked about him since their one date, either. Maybe I assumed she wrote him off already after what’s happened between us, but what if I was wrong?
“Whatever’s going on needs to stay outside of the stadium. You know that, Finn. We need your head in the game. It’s only the fifth inning,” Wes says, snapping me out of my thoughts.
I strain around a swallow. “I’m trying.”
“Well, try harder before you’re pulled out and replaced. If you need to hit something when we’re done here, I’ll take you tothe gym myself and let you throw as many punches as you want. But right now, I need your head on right.”
“Yeah. Yeah, Wes. I’m here.” I nod jerkily, drying my palm on my thigh again. “I’m good.”
His brown eyes dig into me, forcing me to mean what I said. “Alright. Let’s play ball, then.”
He claps me on the back, and I return the gesture before he takes his place behind home plate again. The crowd cheers when they notice we’re back in the game, and I let the noise flow through me. As badly as I want to search for Aubrey in the crowd, I refuse myself the distraction.
I need to keep her out of my head right now. If I don’t, I may as well find another job because I’ll never be able to concentrate again. This isn’t any different from all the rest of the games I’ve played.
Everything can wait until later, when I’ve secured us the win.
Kellan’s gotthe built-in speakers he had installed when he built his new house blasting “Angel” by Dutch Melrose when I step outside. The quick beat thumps through the open windows and patio door, following me into his backyard. The sun is long gone, leaving the moon to light the sky. I drop my head back and stare at the glowing circle, wishing I were in the same great mood that the rest of the Havoc are in.
His pool flashes with neon lights, making the black paint he used not look as terrifying as it does otherwise. I’ve never understood why anyone would want a black pool, but I don’t ask about those things anymore when it comes to him. He likes what he likes, and I have no right to question him.
I tighten my grip on the beer in my hand but don’t drink it. The cold glass bottle feels good on my skin, which is the only reason I accepted it from Beck a few minutes ago. I’m not interested in alcohol. I never have been, though I don’t have a real reason as to why.
The first time I tried it, I coughed so hard I almost puked. Fireball wasn’t a great choice, but that was what Aubrey liked to drink, so I gave it a shot. Since then, I opt for pop instead. It’s the safer option and also keeps me in control of my mind rather than letting it get mushy.
