I close the door. Anything I say will send the already ailing queen into a tailspin.
“Gianna?” Meg’s sleepy voice from behind makes me wince.
I hope she heard everything so I don’t have to repeat it. I don’t have the strength.
Meg sits up, puts on her glasses, and studies me intensely.
“Leigh and Wilder are missing?” she confirms.
I nod, gutted. “Why did they keep this from me all night?” I snap. “I could have helped. Not just with damage control; I could have lent a hand. I could have… done something.”
“Yeah, but maybe they were afraid you’d be upset. You put so much into this wedding.” I flinch. “It’s been your only focus for quite some time now. Every detail had to be perfect.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose. “That’s because Leigh’s my best friend.”
“Is that the only reason?” Meg presses.
A hollow laugh escapes me. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
Tears threaten to fall. I want to help. I want to make Leigh happy. She took me in after I got out of rehab and had nowhere else to go. Elio abused me. My mom allowed it. Besides Stellan, Leigh is my family. I didn’t want to disappoint her, but maybe I took on too much. Maybe I feared she’d resent me if I didn’t go above and beyond to please her. It’s what I’m used to, havingsurvived a terrible childhood where being agreeable kept me from endless ridicule. Except Leigh’s gone, and none of that matters. I wish she felt like she could have come to me, confided in me.
“You’re hurting.”
I roll my eyes. “Excellent insight, you must be psychic.”
Meg purses her lips. “Gianna. I’m not your enemy. You don’t have to hide from me.”
“I’m sorry, I’m just scared. And now I have to tell Jorina her granddaughter is gone? She’ll blame me.”
“Why? You didn’t force Leigh through that rift.”
I sigh. “Everyone has always thought the worst of me.”
Although I try to change, I still seek to please others. I turned down Ry’s proposal and prioritized myself. It was a step in the right direction, but it clearly wasn’t enough. I’m still trying to make sure everyone around me is happy and content. But what about others doing the same for me?
“Whoever made you think that can go to hell,” Meg replies.
I laugh. “Elio’s already there.”
“Good.”
My heart constricts. “I should have told Cynthia about the daemons.”
“You didn’t have all the facts. How were you supposed to know Leigh would disappear? She asked for help with her wedding, you gave it, and Ry asked you to keep the daemons a secret last night, so you did. You are not at fault here.”
I dig my nails into my palms—an old habit to hold back tears, which I should just let fall. Meg isn’t going to judge me. She never has.
“I should get dressed.” If I’m going to face Queen Jorina, I can’t do it in my nightgown.
I trudge toward the bathroom, but Meg stops me before I can barricade myself behind the door. I need to cry—so badly itaches in my chest. Leigh is gone, and she may never come back. She promised me she wouldn’t die, but I promised myself that my compulsive need to make others happy ended with Elio’s death. I guess we are both liars.
“What is it you want, Gianna?” she asks. “Do you even know what will make you happy?”
Hand in hand,Wilder and I tear through the tangled trees with Selene just behind us. Spindly branches whip at my face and arms. Thick roots threaten to pull me down. I clutch Wilder’s fingers so tightly I worry I’ll break them. We need to reach the lake, make it through the gate, and pray Ravi is ready to close it, if he hasn’t already.
“Faster,” Wilder shouts.
The trees are thinning. Through the branches, I catch glimpses of dark water. Hope awakens in me, sharp and painful. I gasp. “I see it!”
