“You’re right; this realm affects me differently, which is whyyoushould go. Fynn is here somewhere, and I am going to find him. I’d be able to if you weren’t stopping to warn me about the dangers of this place me every five seconds. I see them, feel them, but you don’t have to.”
Nostrils flaring, Wilder says, “Kosac is playing with you like a puppet.”
“Maybe, but I’m not giving up.”
“We can’t trust anything he says. He wants you to believe this realm is different from the stories, but look around, Leigh—it’s worse.”
I laugh dryly. “I’m not an idiot. Those ghosts at the party are all in Kosac’s service. They work for him, and in return, he gives them something—eternal comfort, power over the unworthy ghosts, or whatever. If Kosac deals in leverage, then so can I. You’re right, I’ll do whatever it takes to get Fynn back, but I’ll do it alone. You’re sick. This realm is killing you, and I can’t keep searching for Fynn if I am worried about you, too.”
“Whatever it takes,” Wilder mutters. “I hate the sound of that?—”
“What choice do I have?”
“I don’t know.”
I reach for him, ready to plead for his life. “You can’t stay. I’m not giving you a choice. Go home, wait for me there. I refuseto return to a world where you are no longer in it because you wasted away here. I refuse.”
Hurt flashes across his face. “That’s not fair. I told you I am fine.”
My own desperation erupts and overflows. “No, you’re not being fair. You aren’t listening to me. You are sick, Fynn is still missing, and Ravi could be moments away from sealing us in here for good. Hell, maybe Ravi already locked us in here. Or maybe they are all dead on the beach because daemons killed them.”
“Stop it.”
“No, you stop. Why can’t you let me take care of you? ‘Through sickness and health’ starts now.” My voice cracks. “I won’t fail you like I failed Aradia.”
Wilder stands his ground. “I love you, that’s why Ican’tleave you.”
“You have to try,” I shout, fists shaking.
He steps closer, a wall of heat in this frozen place. I glare back, refusing to yield. “Leigh, stop, I can handle myself. You need to have more faith in me.”
“You are dying.”
“No, I’m not.”
I need to push him harder if I want to win this argument. “Maybe this was a mistake—us getting married. Look where it has led us?” I gesture wildly around me, while inside my heart is breaking. “If fate wanted us to be together, we wouldn’t be here.”
“Fate?Youdid this!” Wilder’s words cut through the air between us. I flinch. He softens, but it’s too late. We are finishing this now. “You should have left Aradia’s death alone. You wanted to entangle your soul with hers? Aradia’s been gone for over a century—she doesn’t belong in our world.”
Hysteria brews inside me. He has a right to be angry. I ruined everything, but I won’t be the reason his family has to mournhis death back home. “No,youdon’t belong inmyworld. We are too different; we want different things. You are a Blade, and I am the queen. You stick to what you excel at, and I will do the same. Maybe we should be grateful that we’ve realized we aren’t compatible now, rather than three years from now. Go back home, Wilder. Forget about me.”
“That’s not fair. You don’t mean that.”
“Life isn’t fair. Then you die. Ask Aradia,” I say, forcing as much sincerity into my voice as I can when all I want to do is hold him, kiss him, tell him nothing I just said is true.
With a gulp, I stand my ground.
Wilder studies me, searching for signs that I’m lying, but I keep my features statuesque while I’m crumbling inside. “I can’t believe you just said that to me.”
I shake my head. “Please, just leave. Get out of here while you still can.”
He inches closer, and I intentionally step back. If he touches me, I’ll fall apart. I need to stay strong. It’s safer back in Glaucus. We can work things out between us later. “I’ll go.”
My chest finally expands fully. “Good.”
With his hands clenched into fists, Wilder starts to walk back up the river. Each step is heavy, and his body is hunched, as if he is thoroughly weary.
Somewhere in the distance, just barely audible over the steady rhythm of my pulse, is taunting laughter, as if Mictlan itself is mocking me.
