She grins. “Didn’t peg you for a delicate flower, but if the combat boot fits…”
“Just—”
She shuts me up with a kiss. It’s urgent and fierce, no room for hesitation. Her lips are hot against mine, making every protest crumble. I cave, pulling her tight, wrapping my arms around her like manacles. I’m shackling her to me, not out of control, but out of terror that if I let go, I’ll lose her forever.
Her tongue presses against the seam of my lips, and I push her away. “No.”
Isolde blinks. I never stop her; she usually brings our time together to an end. We are working right now, and this is my first major case. I’m doing everything in my power to impress her, to be the guy she wants me to be, yet she’d risk me getting fired for a few minutes of fun.
“What’s wrong?” she asks.
We aren’t together, that’s what’s wrong. I’m in charge, yet she’s calling the shots.
First, it was Wilder keeping us apart, then it was my mistreatment of her, then it was public perception. Now I am her superior. Being the commander should make her proud to be with me, but she’s not. We are constantly battling with our hands tied behind our backs.
“What are we doing, Sol?” I ask.
Isolde’s lips curve with wicked confidence. “Well, if you’d stop pussyfooting around, I’m trying to kiss you. Maybe something more—if you think we can be away for twenty minutes.”
The image of Isolde bent over, hands braced against a tree as I pull her pants down just enough to take her from behind, ambushes my mind. She would have her palms flat on the bark, desperate moans slipping out even though the others are less than a hundred yards away. The risk of being caught. The twisted thrill of almost wanting them to find us—to see how she’d still gasp my name even with their horrified faces because she’s too lost in what I do to her to care, brings a sick smile to my lips.
Only that’s not how I want them to know about us.
I close my eyes, dragging myself out of the fantasy. No more secrets. No more hiding.
“Why? What’s the point?”
She gasps. “Soter.Why are you doing this? Because of Jaxson? You know why I didn’t say anything at the party. We are friends. More than that.”
“Yeah, I get it.” But I wish I didn’t.
“Then why are you pushing me away?”
I sigh. “Maybe I’m just over it.”
Isolde balks. I’m saying all the wrong things, but I can’t help it. I’m angry not only with her, but with myself.
I’m sick. Sick in the head. Sick of all this shit. Not to mention, sickeningly turned on after one small kiss. There are a thousand things I want to do with Isolde in these woods, but I’m tired of hiding in the shadows. I want to hold her and kiss her in front of everyone. I make the rules; she won’t break them. Not for me, at least.
“You don’t have to be such a jerk.” Isolde shakes her head.
I step back. “I thought that’s all you liked about me. There’s nothing else about me you deem worthy of your love. Or did you lie? Because if you loved me, you’d want to be with me.”
“I’m no liar.”
Could have fooled me. “Do you not want anyone to know about us because you still love your ex?”
I can’t believe I just asked that. I feel like a fucking idiot. Isolde doesn’t care for Wilder anymore, not in that way, at least. But I want to make her mad. I want a reason to be angry.
Isolde glares at me as if she wants to punch me, and I step closer, almost inviting her to do it.Make me bleed, baby. Hate me; it might help me stop loving you because that’s what I need to do. You’ll never choose me.
“Are you being serious?” Isolde hisses.
I nod once. “As a trip wire in tall grass.”
“I amnotin love with Wilder; I am in love withyou.Although I am wondering why that is right now because you’re horrible.”
There it is. “If that were true, you wouldn’t keep us a secret.”
