Once the waiter finishes, we give him our menus, and he goes to relay our order to the kitchen.
“What are you thinking about?” His voice is low and teasing, as if he already knows.
“Nothing. Just how pissed I am about hitting a dead-end.” I uncross my legs, accidentally bumping Jaxson with my foot. His gaze smolders. My breath catches in my throat from the heat burning in his eyes. I stare at my lap, my fingers twisting my napkin.
“You know,” Jaxson ponders, his tone contemplative. I lift my gaze. “If you want to know who attacked Vyvyan, all you need to do is raise the daemon that did it.”
My head falls sideways. “That’s a thing?”
“Let me help. I remember how to do it. We could ask for the check, get the ingredients we need tonight, and have the answers you need by morning. Balam isn’t like the Harborym. So long as you are calling the shots, he can’t hurt you.”
The idea I could have answers has my body thrumming with anticipation, but my curfew looms over my head like an executioner’s ax. If I am not there by morning, Vane will lock me out. He wants me to fail, and this is the perfect excuse for him to banish me. Maybe I can table this idea, present it to Vyvyan, and meet up with Jaxson tomorrow, though the idea of putting him in danger has sweat dotting my brow.
“Not tonight.”
Jax frowns. “Just say when.”
I nod. “Thanks.”
“Anything for you.”
I take a deep breath. If he means that, then he owes me the truth. “Jax, at Little Death, you mentioned wanting to have this dinner to apologize. What exactly are you apologizing for?”
Jax’s hands disappear beneath the table, his gaze intense. “For wasting so much time, Desiree. From the moment I learned you survived that car bombing, I should’ve been by your side. Every single day since we met at the loft in November, I’vewanted to ask you out, but I let my doubts hold me back. I wasn’t sure if you wanted the same thing.”
He leans forward. “But I’m done waiting—done being passive. I thought I lost you, and it nearly destroyed me. Now that you’re back, I will fight for you, for us. You’re it for me, Desiree. You’re the one.”
His words hit with the same amount of shock as defibrillator pads. He didn’t say, “I love you,” but the sentiment is crystal clear. It took nearly losing me for him to realize how deep his feelings were and how rare our connection is.
And he’s right. Jax and I are a force to be reckoned with. We keep each other safe and grounded. Unlike Vane, Jaxson is a sure thing without constant games and secrets. Jax is my best friend; even if we don’t have a future together, we have this moment.
It may be time to let go of my hurt and enjoy the present.
After givingour statements to Eddo and the other Blades in the alley, Ry and I climb into a taxi to head back to the garrison. As the car pulls away, we watch from the window as a delirious but conscious Dimitri gets put into the back of a squad car. The Blades then call in a van to transport his frozen accomplice.
Pockets of city lights blur past us, and Ry and I fall into easy conversation, catching up on his life in Aurora since I’ve been gone. He laments the practically nonexistent dating pool, which leads him to ask about Gianna and, inevitably, Leigh. Ry’s relentless teasing fills the car, warning me not to let Brigid see the undeniable smile that appears whenever I speak about Leigh. But I’m done hiding. My friends mean too much to me to conceal something as significant as my relationship with them. It’s time to prove that.
When we arrive at the garrison, we hang our jackets in the foyer.
Ry’s eyes sparkle with mischief. “Come on, Alec texted that the girls were in the courtyard. You can’t bail on that drink now.”
Exhaustion tugs at my limbs, urging me toward the stairs leading to my room. But the sound of laughter is impossible to resist. The day’s events still weigh heavily on my mind, especially Brigid’s attempt to control my access to Stellan. Her manipulation leaves a gross taste in my mouth. But more thanthat, I need Ry and the others to understand that despite my life in Borealis, they still matter to me. They’re still my family.
“One drink,” I concede.
Ry’s grin is infectious as he claps me on the shoulder and steers me out into the warm night air.
“No, you’re wrong, Brigid. Dead wrong! That’s not what—” Alec cuts herself off as she sees Ry and me. “Hey! Perfect timing. Brigid was trying to convince us she wasn’t hammered at the Mayoral Ball last year when Janus Dyer visited.”
“I wasn’t,” Brigid insists.
Meg and Alec lock eyes. Then Alec’s laughter bubbles like a gurgling fountain as her drink sloshes onto the plush outdoor couch. The rich aroma of spilled whiskey mingles with the heady scent of jasmine from the nearby trellises.
Gianna laughs along with everyone else, but her laugh is a hollow sound devoid of genuine mirth. I half-expected to find her barricaded in her room, but it seems she prefers the company of others to facing the demons that lurk in the solitude of her thoughts. I understand her choice completely. My friends have a way of helping you forget the bad stuff. It’s what made living here so easy the first time around.
I’d arrived broken and scarred, my soul battered by the shitstorm I’d left behind in Borealis. But they’d given me a chance to start over, to be the person my dad never wanted me to be. I flourished here and maybe Gianna can, too, if she doesn’t let the acts of three idiots dictate her future.
“That’s funny, Brigid, because I remember seeing you take several shots on an empty stomach, no less,” Alec reminisces, her voice taking on a dreamy quality as she transports us back to a memory from ten months ago. Before Dad had killed Sinclair, life had seemed good, or at least, I’d thought it was. Little did I know that, shortly after, I would meet Leigh, and she would turn my world upside down. Living in Aurora, I’d been happy, ifnot aimless. It wasn’t until I returned to Borealis and chose to compete for Domna that I found something worth fighting for.
