Nor will I survive if my actions push him back into Brigid’s wide-open arms.
No, this ends now.
I stride purposely down the street lined with towering date palms, Gianna beside me and Isolde training behind. I glance at Gianna, but she’s barely met my eyes since we left the garrison, and my jaw hardens. If she’s Stellan’s mole, I don’t know how I’ll handle it.
After the events of last year and the terrible things I said about her and Fynn at their engagement party, I thought we had moved forward when we both admitted our secrets to one another—her being a Nebula and me being a Lunar Witch. We have a rocky past, but at the end of the day, she’s my closest friend. No matter how bad things have been, we’ve always found a way back to each other. But this? I am unsure how I can get past it. It also sucks because part of me wants her to be the mole just so that I can move forward with my plans. We’ll deal with the aftermath when shit hits the fan.
“What did you want to talk about?” Gi asks.
I release a forceful breath. I practiced what I would say to her on the train and concluded that if she told me the truth, I would do my best not to get angry. But dammit, I am pissed. Gianna’s been through so much, and I understand the lengths a person might go to for information about their family. I raised a daemon to get Eos to give me the War Letters and almost killed Wilder in the process. This self-sabotaging dynamic between us needs to stop. We’re practically siblings, the closest thing either of us has to family, and we need to remember how much we care for each other.
“We’ve been through a lot together,” I begin. “I understand why you did it, if you did, but I need you to tell me the truth and stop. Please, too much is at risk, and I am running out of time and options.”
Gianna glances sidelong at me. Color has returned to her cheeks. I hope her time away from Borealis has been good for her. “Stop what?” she asks.
I war between needing to sit down and not being able to sit still. “Have you been telling Stellan stories about me and the Council?”
Gianna halts in the middle of the busy street. So do I.
“What?” she gasps.
“You came here to glean information from Stellan about your father. Did you use me to do it?”
Gianna’s mouth opens and closes. Betrayal flashes in her gaze, but I hold strong. I’ve had people lie to my face and smile while doing it. I want this moment to be different.
“Leigh, are you asking me if I am Stellan’s source?” she asks.
I nod. “Yes. You live with me. You are friends with several Council members. Stellan has something you want, and I know you are tenacious. So, please tell me because I need to be armed with the truth when I see him in an hour. If Stellan isn’t stopped, our government will remain divided, and?—”
“Leigh, you are my best friend, but sometimes I want to wring your neck.”
“Is that a yes?” The hair on my nape lifts.
“Being queen must not be easy,” Gi says evasively. She’s about to tell me the truth, and though it’s everything I need right now, I am suddenly afraid to hear it.
“You are the queen, the top of the food chain,” Gianna continues, “yet you are always watching your back, ready for someone to stab you in it, but that person isn’t me. I swear on our friendship. And if that isn’t enough for you, you’d be happy to know I’ve yet to speak to Stellan. The first and only time I saw him was that day in the square before chaos broke loose and Ry dragged me away. I’ve spent most of my time here, alone, being held at gunpoint, or with Wilder.”
My breath hitches. Did she say gunpoint?
“Please, Leigh, I’ve done some shady stuff, but I’d never intentionally hurt you,” Gi says. “You’re the only family I’ve known.”
I press my hands against my temples. Goddammit. I believe her.
I’ve known her long enough to recognize her sincerity. But if she isn’t the mole, then who is? Fear grips my heart like a vise. Gianna is my last lead. “But Stellan . . .”
“Stellan has the information I need, but I would never use you to get it. Your friendship and my conscience aren’t worth it,” Gianna adds.
I drag my nails down my cheeks. “Then who is working with Stellan?”
I see him soon, and my bargaining chip to get him to listen just went out the window.
Gi’s attention drifts up the street. “Maybe you should have this conversation with Wilder.”
“Maybe,” I say, but how can I look him in the eyes? Tonight, I’ll likely have to accept Alden’s proposal. If I don’t, it means war. But Gods, I can’t losehim. No wonder my grandmother never remarried. Love is a weakness.
Gi shakes her head. “You are so untrusting, Leigh, but neither Wilder nor I have ever faltered in our loyalty to you. Talk to him. He loves you and will listen.”
I open my mouth to offer an excuse, a reason why he shouldn’t love me. Don betrayed me. My mother lied to me. My grandmother won’t even call me back, preferring to hide away in the mountains. But Gianna, my best friend, has forgiven me even after I thought the worst of her. Maybe Wilder will, too. Maybe he can even help me figure out a plan B with Stellan.
