“Yes,” I lie.
A slight frown tugs at his lips. “Your aura betrays you.”
I narrow my eyes. “How?”
“It’s all red.”
“I thought red denotes leadership, passion, and groundedness,” I mimic his deep voice.
“It can, but on the opposite spectrum, it means anger, fear, over-sensitivity.”
“Can you not?” I say, not meeting his gaze. He sees right through me, which wouldn’t scare me if I knew who he was here for. “I’m not angry. But I will be if you don’t stop judging me and help me get what I want.”
“Okay,” Ravi concedes with a nod. “So, you want to astral project.”
“Yes.”
“Where?” Ravi states as he sips his water. The sound of his swallowing is loud in the quiet room. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand.
I don’t meet his eyes as I reply, “No where in particular.”
“You’re lying. Your aura is a muddy-yellow.” Ravi’s voice comes out gentle, almost conciliatory.
My jaw drops. I can’t tell him about Don. He could tell Alden, who might withdraw his proposal after hearing about Fynn, especially if he suspects I’m a bastard-born child. But Ravi is still here, which means Alden is as well. This suggests that the proposal is still on the table.
My muscles tense at this notion. I am neither relieved nor upset, but I am glad that I haven’t missed the chance to secure peace for our borders. Keeping the possibility of the alliance alive is crucial.
“Fine,” I say, contemplating a lie to get him to teach me what I need to know. “I want to visit Wilder. I haven’t heard from him since the rally, and I need to be face-to-face when he tells me what happened.”
Ravi’s eyes narrow, but then he sits tall. “Fine. The fourth layer of the aura is the astral body. It’s the layer that you project out into the world. Tell me what you felt when you harnessed this magic the first time.”
I swallow. I hate talking about Thayer or anything having to do with That Night. I now know I am not to blame for my father and brother’s deaths, but after blaming myself for so long, those feelings still surface. The shame makes me want to endure dozens of purification rituals, but I force myself to stay seated. My magic isn’t dangerous. I can be a better leader if I know how to use it.
“When I did it the first time, I was only able to project a few feet before . . .” I take a deep breath, “before the witch who killed my father and brother attacked us.”
Ravi nods. “That’s understandable, but you must forgive yourself for what happened. It is the only way to move forward and use your magic easily. When we link an experience with shame, it is hard to access those reserves.” I frown. Maybe I’vealready failed before I’ve begun. “But don’t worry, with a little self-love, you can send your spirit anywhere. All you have to do is connect emotionally to the person or place you want to see.”
When I think of Wilder, missing him is a physical pain in my heart. Not seeing him after being able tofeelhim in his dream has been maddening, but I didn’t want to risk something happening to him if I visited him again. I wasn’t entirely lying when I said I wanted to know what happened at the square in Aurora with Stellan today. Several councilors have sent me messages questioning Wilder’s loyalties. I’ve deleted them all.
He’s with me. There is an explanation.
“The astral layer connects the three lower and three higher auric layers, acting as a bridge between solid and spiritual energy,” Ravi continues, his voice low and authoritative. “When we astral project, we send a carbon copy of ourselves through the spiritual plane. The energies from the spiritual and physical plane make contact, causing you to appear visible to the naked eye. You will feel connected to your physical self, but you cannot make physical contact with others. It’ll be like you are a ghost.”
“How long does it last?” I question.
Ravi shrugs. “Depends on the wielder.”
So, a powerful witch can hold on to the projection, while a less powerful might not have as much control. I will lie in the middle; my magic is still untested and raw.
“How do we start?” I ask, my eagerness bleeding into my voice.
Ravi lifts a brow. “Do you fully accept your powers? You aren’t afraid of the consequences after what happened before? It’s important that we clear any negativity before we start.”
I inhale a cleansing breath. Using this ability feels like opening old wounds, but I meant what I said. I am no longer ashamed of who I am or what I can do.
“My magic is a gift.” He continues to study me. “I mean it. I’ve made great strides to forgive myself for what happened after my Emergence. I can do this.Pleasehelp me do this.”
With a curt nod, Ravi straightens. “Sit tall,” he instructs, and I do. The mat cushions my hips, and the crown of my head reaches toward the ceiling. “You begin by expanding and contracting your aura. You must learn to access your magic even while others are in your space. Their energy frequencies will engage with yours, but the goal is not to let it affect you. First, close your eyes.” My eyes shut.
