I glance between my ex and Pallas, suddenly reminded of their history.
Jax and Pallas shared much more than a kiss during their visit to Little Death. I got an eyeful of them with their tonguesdown each other’s throats before I hurried off to deliver drinks, trying to process what I had just witnessed. Leigh had grabbed me while in search of Vane, but she’d been with Wilder, and I was so paranoid he’d recognize me that I finished my shift early and returned to the Nest. However, upon my return, I was immediately summoned to the throne room for Zev’s trial.
I glance at Pallas, noticing his purple hair, and my heart constricts. It’s the same shade of the girl the two of them were also with that night. Selene? It must be for her.
“So, Desiree, with a kidnapper on the loose, if I don’t return to the streets soon, Soter may fire me, and I don’t need another reason to hate him,” Jaxson says. “What did you want to ask me?”
I sit straighter. “I want to raise Balam.”
Jax blinks, then he nods slowly. “Okay. I’ll just need to make some calls for supplies.”
“How long will that take?” I ask. We have to do this as fast as possible before the attacker strikes again.
“Desiree,” Pallas snaps. “Your plan is to raise adaemon? Fuck that. Fuck Vyvyan. Just come with me to Aurora.”
I blink as Jaxson’s jaw hardens. “What would I do in Aurora?”
The sun shines there three hundred and sixty-three days a year. I’ve heard the vampire community is tiny and wary of outsiders. They also answer to Vyvyan.
Pallas shrugs. “We don’t know each other, but take this chance to start over.”
My gaze falls to the kitchen floor. Pallas makes it sound so easy—a fresh start, a new beginning. But is that what I want?
I glance at Jaxson, whose eyes are intent, waiting to see how I’ll answer, and my heart restricts. I don’t want to be alone.
“I’m staying.”
Jaxson barely manages to hide his smile behind another bite of food.
Pallas shrugs and gathers his belongings. He touches my shoulder and says, “Be good to Jax,” before leaving me in the kitchen with my ex.
“I have to run, too,” Jaxson announces as he scrapes leftover food into the trash. “I’ll text you when we can pick up the supplies. Shouldn’t take more than a day.”
I nod but say nothing. Am I making the right decision?
“Don’t worry, it won’t be like when Leigh raised the Harborym,” Jax says, mistaking my silence for fear. “The Balam obeys its summoner. You’ll be completely safe with me.” He pinches my chin, forcing me to meet his gaze. “I’m glad you stayed, sunshine.”
“Same.”
But then his attention falls on my painted lips.
Jax wants to kiss me. Is that whatIwant, though? Fresh from the Nest, I’m hardly at my strongest. Yet, my fingers ache to grab his uniform, pull him close, and meld our breaths into one.
The other night, he told me how he felt about me. I should stop pining for what was and start living for what could be.
I don’t want to have regrets.
He clears his throat. “Maybe watch some TV and consider how you want to tell me about what?—”
I grip his jacket, rise on my toes, and press my lips to his. It’s like coming home.
Jaxson wraps his arms around me, tugging me until I am pressed against him. I open my mouth to deepen the kiss, but Jaxson pulls away with a smile. “As much as I hate to say it, I really have to go.”
I blink. “Oh, okay.”
“But we should talk.”
Unable to talk, I nod. What the hell did I just do?
