“Not at first. They felt they were the last hope Tammie had. Fuck, they tried so damn hard, but Tammie was a master at manipulation. She broke every rule they had, then turnedaround and begged for forgiveness. Cuss at Vera, then turn on the waterworks and say she was sorry. She started staying out way past curfew, sometimes drinking, then would cry and hug them until they let her back in. They tried to overlook her problems and work with her, but she wasn’t having it. It took a couple years before we reached the last straw and gave up.”
A sharp rap came at the door before Cicely poked in her head. “I’m finished for the day. I’ll lock the front. Do some cleaning before you leave.”
“Sure. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Cicely closed the door in silence. No “thank you” or “you too” passed her lips.
“What’s wrong with her?” Cam asked.
Sabrina sighed heavily. “I don’t know. She’s constantly on my case about something. I’m assuming it’s because we’re down a person and the overtime is getting to her.” She finished his hand and shifted to stand behind him. “It sounds like Tammie needed help, but not the kind your parents could give her.”
“I thought the same thing for a long time, but you know, at some point, people have to take responsibility and not put the blame for their problems on others. Maybe I’m not being fair, but when she….”
He fell silent. This was harder than he thought. Tears formed in his eyes, hidden from view by the head cradle.
Sabrina placed her hands on his shoulders and stroked the back of his neck with her thumbs. “Must be something pretty radical if it still affects you like this. You don’t have to tell me if it’s too much.”
“I’m afraid you’ll look at me with different eyes.”
She stilled at his words. “I think you can tell I’m a pretty tough person. My life hasn’t exactly been all rosy perfect either.” She paused. “You asked me once about taking a chance on you. How ’bout you take a chance on me?”
He took a breath as she resumed the massage on the back of his neck. It felt more like a caress now. “I’d graduated from high school, but my parents let me stay in the house while I went to community college for machining and design. My girlfriend, Caitlin, was there working on her accounting degree. Tammie hated her. Of course, she hated everyone and everything.”
“How old was she?”
“Seventeen. Almost eighteen, so yeah, the teenager mindset didn’t help, but when I say she hated everything, I mean shehatedit. She used to fly into these uncontrollable rages where she would throw whatever she could lay her hands on. Screaming at the top of her lungs. Cursing. Kicking. Punching. You wouldn’t believe the shit she destroyed. Furniture. Dishes. Vera had this nice collection of Hummel figurines that got smashed during one episode. They tried doctors and counselors, then medication that Tammie refused to take. I spent a lot of time at Caitlin’s place, but I still needed to be at home to protect my parents. Make sense?”
“I get it. I thought I’d feel sorry for Tammie, but she sounds like a little witch.”
He sighed. “I don’t know. Part of me blames her rotten childhood, but when does that just become an excuse?”
“Deep subject.” Sabrina’s fingers traced over his skull, scratching his scalp lightly with her nails. “One I’m not gonna speculate about. No one can see what’s going on in someone else’s head.”
Cam liked the head massage. “One night, I was at the house having dinner with Vera and Cecil. Tammie was supposed to come home after school. I hung out until she finally showed up. At three in the morning. Cecil had gone to bed, but Vera and I stayed up dozing in the living room. Tammie came in stinking of booze and sex. She was high or drunk or both. Some of the shit that spewed out of her mouth….”
His voice faded as his memories took over. “She told me she wanted to fuck me. That she would be so much better than Caitlin.”
He paused, images of that night coming back to him. “She ignored Vera, who sat right next to me on the sofa, and came over to… mount me. She tried to kiss me and hump me, telling me how good she could be. She grabbed for my dick, and I shoved her off me. I wasn’t nice about it either.”
Sabrina’s hands slowed. “That sounds really intense.”
“That’s one way of putting it. I told herthatwould never happen and she needed to straighten up her act. She got mad, of course, and threw one of the flower vases at me, then kicked the coffee table until it broke into pieces. Vera tried to stop her, and Tammie went wild. She started slapping and punching Vera in the face. I still remember Tammie’s nails digging into my mom’s cheeks and the blood from those wounds. I shoved Tammie out of the way and shielded Vera with my body. I yelled for her to stop, but she was so out of control, I don’t know if she heard me. To this day, I have no clue why she didn’t stop. Either she couldn’t or she wouldn’t.”
Sabrina’s arms came around him in a hug, her body pressing into his back. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I’m sorry for Vera and Cecil too. I’m not sure about Tammie.”
“It’s not over.” Cam swallowed the huge lump in his throat. What would Sabrina think of him now? “Tammie picked up one of the broken table legs and started hitting me. It had jagged pieces on it, plus a few nails. It tore into me and ripped open my back as I was covering Vera. The fucking pain got to me. I… fuck… I lost it and hit my sister. Twice. Punched her right in the face. Dropped her like a stone. The cops said it was self-defense all the way, but?—”
The sob caught him off guard. It took him a minute to figure out it came from his own mouth. Speech was impossible now.
Sabrina held him from behind, allowing him the courtesy of keeping his face hidden in the cradle. He appreciated that gesture, but he wished he could see her face to guess at what she thought about him now.
“I was almost six feet tall and over two hundred pounds of muscle. Tammie was five foot four and around one-twenty-five. I could have hurt her real bad. The first punch was to get her off me and my mom. The second… I think the second was from years of frustration and anger. It shames me.”
She placed her chin on his shoulder. “You ever hit another woman?”
“No. Never.”
Her breath tickled his neck as she spoke. “I believe you, and I bet I can guess what happened next. Lots of charges were made and some of them dropped. Caitlin broke up with you. Tammie was removed and sent to juvie.”
