My phone buzzes again, and I grab it out of my pocket.
But it's not Poppy this time.
Grant:I can't stop thinking about you.
My heart stops. Then starts again, twice as fast.
I stare at the message, my thumb hovering over the screen.
This is the first time I’ve heard from him since I walked out of his hotel room in Florence.
Another text comes through.
Grant:I know you said Florence was a mistake. I'm trying to respect that. But I need you to know that it didn't feel like a mistake to me.
Grant:It was the best thing that’s happened to me in years.
Oh God.
I should ignore this. Should delete the messages and block his number and pretend I never saw them. It would be so much easier.
But my fingers are already moving, typing out a response before my brain can stop them.
Me:Grant
I don't know what else to say.
The three dots appear immediately.
Grant:Can I call you?
Me:I'm working right now.
Grant:Later then?
I close my eyes. This is it. The moment where I either pull him into this mess or cut him out completely.
I should cut him out. I know I should.
Me:Maybe. I don't know. I need to think.
Grant:About us?
About everything. About the baby growing inside me. About whether I tell you or keep this a secret. About whether I can build my business and raise a child and maintain my independence all at once. About whether accepting your help would destroy me or save me.
Me:About a lot of things.
The three dots appear and disappear several times. Finally, a message comes through.
Grant:Okay. I'll give you space to think. But when you're ready to talk, I'm here. Whatever you need to say, whatever you're dealing with, I'm here.
The tears come hard now, hot and fast. Because of course he'd say that. Of course he'd be kind and patient and exactly what I need him to be.
Which makes this so much worse.
I set the phone down and press my hands against my eyes, trying to stop the tears. It doesn't work though.
How did everything get so complicated so fast? Not long ago, I was on a plane to Florence, full of hope and ambition and the certainty that I was building exactly the life I wanted. Now I'm pregnant and I can't even mix a simple fragrance formula without falling apart.
