He pulls back and takes my face in his hands. His blue eyes burn with so much emotion it’s hard to distinguish what he’s thinking. There’s a hint of smug victory on his face because heknows he’s got me on that point. If this were real, Asher would be doting on me after my run in with the paparazzi downstairs, so if we didn’t share this moment, people in the office might question why. But then again, most people that work on this floor know that our relationship is a farce, so I don’t know why he feels the need to keep it up. But behind that hint of victory, sadness and pain bleed into his eyes and into the expression on his face. He’s trying to mask it, but he isn’t fully succeeding. And it guts me. I don’t know why, but since first meeting Asher, I’ve felt drawn to him in a way I’ve never been drawn to anyone before, and it’s like I can sense things inside him as if they were my own. His pain is my pain, and I always want to take it away. But this time I can’t. No matter how much I want to, I need to put boundaries back in place between us no matter how much it hurts us both.
I step back, and this time Asher lets me go, but I don’t miss the way his hands ball into fists at his sides.
“What are you doing here?” he asks a moment later. “You didn’t need to come in. Emily and the team can handle everything.”
“I wanted to come. This is too delicate. I trust the team, but I can’t sit back and not have a say in what goes out into the world.”
“If it’s like this tomorrow, I don’t want you to come in. I’ll send the team to you.”
“I don’t want to stay stuck in your penthouse anymore. I’ll go crazy.”
“Just until this situation dies down.”
“It’s fine, Asher. I’d rather be here at the office. It’s too hard to be there . . .” I trail off. I don’t want to admit to any more than I already have. I don’t want him to know that I hate being there without him. That I hate sleeping in a separate room. That I don’t want the space I’ve demanded between us. I don’twantany of it. But I need it. It’s the only way to protect myself.
Asher’s eyes light, and I don’t think I’ve fooled him. He storms toward me, and I back up until I bump into his desk. He grabs me by the waist and lifts me, then sets me down on his desk. He leans down, and I’m forced to lean back on my hands. Still, he moves into my space until there isn’t an inch left between us.
“I told you I’d give you space, but remember, I also told you this isn’t over.”
“You know why it needs to be over.”
“You know better than that, Ella,” his voice is low, almost menacing. “You know I’m not going to just let you go.”
He grabs my left hand. He holds it up and examines it, his eyes narrowing.
“You seem to be missing something on your finger.”
“And you seem to have forgotten that you can’t just sneak into my room while I’m sleeping.”
He chuckles. “You’re losing that room, so it’s a moot point.”
Now I narrow my eyes. “Losing that room?”
“I’m done with you sleeping upstairs, Ella. And I’m done with you pulling away from me. If I have to carry you downstairs and tie you to my bed, I will.”
“You wouldn’t dare.”
He lifts a brow. “Wouldn’t I?”
Would he?Sometimes I’m not sure how far Asher would go to get what he wants. And right now, that’s me. The thought is both heady and slightly terrifying.
I bite my lip and shake my head, confusion whirring inside me. “Please,” I whisper. “Don’t make this harder than it already is. You know I feel the same way, but this is all too much. You can’t do a real relationship, you’ve already admitted as much. You’re still committed to ending things once the board is satisfied with your image. And I . . . I don’t trust myself. I dated Kyle for three years, and he pulled a fucking gun on me. I know now that I ignored a lot of red flags in our relationship, butstill, I knew him for years and still didn’t see how messed up he was.”
“I’m not Kyle,” Asher hisses, clearly offended.
“I know that,” I say, hurriedly. I move my body forward, and he backs up enough that we’re still close, but I’m able to sit up straight. “I know you’d never do anything like that. I’m not comparing you to him. But everything between you and me has happened so fast. In truth we hardly even know each other.”
Asher’s jaw clenches. “Putting space between us will only make getting to know one another harder.”
“Ash—”
“What do you need from me?” he demands. “How can I change your mind?”
“I can’t risk falling for you when I know there’s only heartbreak waiting for me on the other side of this.”
He leans his forehead against mine and lets out a long, defeated breath. For once, he has no rebuttal. He knows I’m right. Neither of us knows what the future holds, and the deeper we fall, the harder it will hurt if things end badly.
I press a gentle kiss to his cheek then shift and start to scoot off the desk. Asher reluctantly moves aside, no longer trapping me between his legs, and I’m able to get back on my feet. Without another word, I make my way out of his office, holding back the tears burning in the backs of my eyes.
