“Oh, I think after three rounds of sex today we’re already there.”
“We should round it off to an even four then, just to be safe. Or perhaps five. Yeah, five sounds better.”
“Whatever you say, Mr. Langford.”
“I love it when you say those words, Ms. Hale.”
An hour later, after a very naughty shower together, we’re lying in his childhood bed, snuggled close. The bubble of happiness we’ve been in after the tense family meeting has slowly dissipated since we got into bed, and by the stiffness of Asher’s body, I can tell there’s something on his mind.
I lift my head off his chest to look at him. “Are you okay?”
He tucks a lock of hair behind my ear. “Yes and no.”
“Is it about what happened earlier?”
He nods, and I lay my head back down on his chest, hoping to give him a bit of space to collect his thoughts.
“I hope you know,” he says after a minute, his breath brushing the top of my head, “that everything we talked about earlier is the reason I’ve been hesitant to move forward. My reluctance over a real relationship is not about you or us. It’s because of this situation. Watching my grandfather’s murder so young, and then almost dying myself—it did something to me. I’m reminded of it every time I try to picture my future. It’s why I slipped into the role of chronic bachelor. I justified not wanting a real relationship because if I didn’t let anyone into my life, then I didn’t have to worry about their safety. Maybe if we had solved my grandfather’s murder back when it happened, I wouldn’t have felt this way. But with the unknown hanging over my head for the last twenty-five years, I’ve kept my guard up.”
I nod in understanding. I get it. I’ve seen the scars on hisback that I now realize must be from the car accident. When we were first together, he would flinch if I accidentally touched them. He doesn’t seem bothered by my touch now, but his initial protectiveness over them makes sense. I can’t imagine going through something like that as a child, and it’s clear that night left him with more than physical scars.
Asher blows out a long breath. “Even now, I don’t know if I can bring someone into this mess. But—for the first time in my life—I want to fight that instinct. I want you in my life, but I need to take out this threat before I can fully commit. And even then, I need you to know that things like this will always be a possibility. Your life will always have more risks than the average person if you’re with me. I’m trying to come to terms with that, but I still need time.” He reaches for my hand and kisses the back of it. “I want this, but I need to take it slow.”
“Then we’ll take it slow.”
“But we’ll keep that to ourselves. There’s a lot of unrest with the members of my board, and I’m not sure who I can trust. So, as far as the PR team and the board are concerned, this is still a farce for publicity. I don’t want anyone to know how much I care for you, at least not yet. But I still need to keep improving my image or I’ll risk my shares.”
I look up at him, and he brushes his thumb along my lower lip. “I also need you to know that my worries over losing my shares isn’t just about the money. It’s about the power that it would give the board. They would absorb my shares among them, and none of those snakes deserves an ounce of more power than they already have. My brothers and I are determined to operate as ethically as we can, but the other board members couldn’t give a single fuck about that. I don’t want my employees, my companies, and a myriad of other people to suffer—and theywillsuffer if the board gains those shares. Given half a chance, the board will slash salaries, benefits,bonuses. You name it, if they can get rid of it to line their pockets with more money, they’ll do it.”
I take in his words, realizing the gravity of them. This,thisis why I’m so drawn to this man. Yes, he cares about his shares and his money for personal reasons, but he cares just as deeply about the lives of others. He understands the power he holds, and he takes that responsibility seriously. The world may see the caricature of Asher; they see his money, his reputation, his power and privilege, but I see the real him.
“I’m with you,” I breathe. “And we’ll take this one step at a time, together.”
“Thank you,” he says, his words muffled as he buries his face in my hair.
He spends half the night worshiping my body in an almost reverent way, and when we finally drift off to sleep, I feel more at ease than I have in weeks.
10
ASHER
Aweek later, I sit in a high-rise restaurant overlooking the Central Business District in Singapore for a business dinner. I try my best to listen to Mr. Li across from me, but instead, I sigh quietly into my wine as I think about how long this week has felt, even though it’s been jam packed with meetings. I’m running on fumes, ready for the trip to be over, and dreading all the meetings I have over the next three days. I’m homesick—something I never thought I’d experience in adulthood, and I know the exact reason for my homesickness: a certain brunette I’m obsessed with. I can’t help but think back to my London trip when Ella was by my side for several of my business meetings, and how her presence made the time away from home much more enjoyable. I’m fairly sure I’m fucked, because after this week, I don’t want to go on any more of these trips without Ella.
Some Titan of Business I am.
But if my one Achilles’ heel in business is my need for Ella to be by my side? I think I can live with that. I’ll just find a way to convince her to follow me around the globe. Declan wouldlaugh and call me codependent if he could hear my thoughts. But I don’t care. He doesn’t get it.
Mr. Li checks his watch. “I must wrap this up. I have a flight to catch.”
Thank God.
“I will put together a final proposal and have it to you within the next two weeks,” I say, trying my best to hide my relief. Now I can head back to my hotel and call Ella. It’s early in New York, but at this point, I don’t care if I wake her up. I need to hear her voice. And I can start planting seeds to convince her to come with me next time. I’m not doing this alone again.
“I’ll be waiting for your proposal,” Mr. Li says, standing.
I stand as well, and he nods and makes his departure.
“Is there anything else I can get you?” a server asks, making his way to our table.
