“Every part of me wants to give in and give them what they want so that I can keep you safe. But I can’t. I can’t set that sort of precedent. If it gets out that all someone has to do is threaten you and I’ll give them whatever they want, you’ll never be safe again. Also, while I might be loose on a lot of my ethics, I do actually give a fuck what happens to thisplanet, and I am one of the few people who can put forth the money needed on research to get real results for climate change. The Russian mafia isn’t something I want to fuck with, but they’ve given me no choice. I can’t give in to their threats, which means I have to take them out. You’re the potential collateral damage, and I can’t have that. If I have to keep you somewhat locked down to keep you safe, that’s what I’ll do.”
I let out a groan but don’t have much to say. This is all too much to think about when my mind is still slushy from medication. I need to think this through before I know what my next step is.
“That reminds me,” Asher says, looking a little hesitant. “You are also not to contact Lucy until this is all over.”
“Excuse me?”What in the actual fuck?
“Lucy is a Morozov, a cousin of the Antonovs.”
I bristle. “Lucy would never hurt me.”
“I know that, Ella, I do. But regardless of Lucy’s intentions, if the Antonovs learn about the connection between the two of you, they will try to exploit it.”
“She wouldneverhelp them or hurt me.”
“She probably wouldn’t even know it’s happening. They would use her in ways she wouldn’t realize.”
“She is not stupid or naïve, she would see right through them.”
“Okay, maybe they don’t use her. Maybe they just hurt her to get to you, which would get them to me. They might be her family, but they are ruthless. This is hundreds of billions of dollars on the line when you look at the long-term effects of cutting out significant portions of oil in everyday life. They’re not going to risk that, and if they have to use one of their own to prevent that loss? They won’t hesitate. For them it will be well worth the cost.”
I press the heels of my hands into my eyes, groaning. “So,this means I’m cut off from one of my best friends, my work, and a lot of the outside world.”
“Until I have a handle on this, yes.”
Fucking hell.“And how long will that take?”
“I don’t know. But I’m coming for them with everything I have. I’m sorry, Ella. This is exactly why I’ve kept people at arm’s length my entire life. It wasn’t merely selfishness at wanting to live a carefree bachelor life; it was this. My life is complicated, and my status can make it dangerous. I’m sorry you’ve been dragged into this. You deserve better.”
“It sounds like you’re trying to say goodbye.”
“I’m not, although you’d be better off in the long run if I did.”
“Don’t say that.”
“It’s the truth.”
“I think that ship has sailed. Even if you did say goodbye, people will still know who I am. Your idea that I’ll just fade into anonymity and have a normal life is something that could take years to accomplish.”
“Which is why keeping you close is what’s best.”
“Is that the only reason you’re keeping me close?” My stomach sinks. This conversation is starting to taste strongly of regret.
“Of course not. But the situation you’re in is myworst fearcome to life, and I hate it.”
I reach my hand up and cup his face. “I hate it too. But if this is what it means to be with you, then I accept it. I accepted it from the beginning. I meant what I said when you were eavesdropping on my call with my mother and Maya. You’re worth it. All the craziness that comes with your life, I’ll take it if it means I get to be with you.”
Asher swallows and leans his forehead down to mine. “I love you, Ella. And I’ll spend every day of the rest of my life proving that to you.” His lips meet mine, and he kisses metenderly, with so much love and affection that tears prickle in the backs of my eyes. I hold on to the moment—trying to memorize it—since I have a feeling that I’ll need these types of memories to help me deal with the uncertainty ahead of us.
Because without these small moments, without the reminder of who he is without all the outside pressures bearing down on him, I don’t know if I could survive Asher’s world.
33
ELLA
Declan: Are you ready for your prison break?
YES!
