I closed my eyes for a second, lettin’ the heat melt the day off me. When I opened them again, Kay’Lo was standin’ right there naked like he belonged in an art museum. His body was glistenin’ from the light and his tattoos looked darker against his skin. His eyes was low and red and full of somethin’ that made my stomach flip.
The tub was big enough for the both of us, and he stepped in behind me. The water rose when he settled down, and he wrapped his arms around me like he wanted to lock me to his chest.
He kissed my shoulder slow, then slid his hands down into the water and placed them on my stomach again. He kept rubbin’ and caressin’ the curve.
I leaned back against his chest and closed my eyes again. The bathroom was quiet except for the candles cracklin’ and Kay’Lo breathin’ against my ear. His touch was soft, his hands moved slow, and everything about the moment felt peaceful in a way I didn’t get often.
There was nowhere else I wanted to be.
I rubbed his forearm and whispered, “I’m so happy, Kay’Lo.”
His lips brushed my neck. “Me too, Mommy.”
I smiled ‘cause even drunk, even high, even half asleep on his feet, this man knew how to love me in ways I ain’t even know I needed. His arms tightened just a lil’ around me, and he kept one hand on my stomach.
The water was warm, and his body was warm, and everything in my world felt calm, full, and right.
And as I laid here in my husband’s arms, all I could think about was how this was our family now. This was our moment, our love, and every single thing we went through led us right here in this water, in the quiet and in the comfort of each other.
It was past midnight, and I could barely sleep.
Kay’Lo was knocked out beside me, laid on his stomach with one arm thrown across my waist like he still needed to hold me even in his dreams. The covers was pushed down to our hips from when we made love earlier, and the room still smelled like him. His skin was warm against mine and the soft rise and fall of his breath felt calmin’, but my mind wouldn’t shut up. I kept replayin’ today over and over, and every time I thought about somethin’ new, my heart filled up with that warm, full feelin’ all over again.
All day I had been wrapped in love. People had shown up for us in a way I ain’t even expect, and even though the only person from my side who there was Sha’Nelle, I wasn’t mad. My family been divided ever since Kay’Lo killed my cousin, and half of them still blamed me ‘cause I stayed with him. They never cared to know the truth about what really happened, and honestly, a lot of my trauma came from them anyway. So the longer I livedmy life away from all that mess, the more I realized I wasn’t missin’ nothin’.
I turned my head and looked at Kay’Lo. He was sleep like he had been runnin’ all day, his lashes long against his cheek and his lips parted just a lil’. I leaned in and kissed him soft on his mouth, just enough for me to feel him stir a bit before he settled again.
I eased out of the bed so I wouldn’t wake him, grabbed my robe from the closet, and slipped it on. My phone was on the dresser and I picked it up before headin’ out the room. The hallway was dim, and the house was quiet in a way it wasn’t earlier with everybody laughin’ and talkin’ and yellin’ behind Kay’Lo when he hit that last target. Pink dust was still stuck on half the bushes outside, and I knew it wouldn’t wash all the way out for days.
When I got downstairs and stepped into the backyard, the night air brushed across my skin, and the whole space looked peaceful. There was pink everywhere, floatin’ across the grass and sittin’ on the tables. I walked over to one of the tables and took a seat, lettin’ myself fall back into the moment.
I couldn’t believe I was really about to bring a baby into this world. Me…Toni… The same girl who used to act a damn fool and ain’t care who knew it. I had been wild and reckless and stubborn, thinkin’ I ain’t need nobody but myself, and now here I was, married to a man who loved me harder than anybody ever had, pregnant with our daughter, and feelin’ myself change in ways I never thought I would.
I smiled thinkin’ about the way Kay’Lo looked when that sixth target exploded. His mouth dropped a lil’ at first like he couldn’t believe what he was seein’, then he looked at me with so much joy it almost made me fall apart all over again. And then Pressure picked his grown ass up like he ain’t weigh shit, runnin’ him across the yard while everybody screamed and laughed.
I pulled my phone out and opened my camera roll, scrollin’ through the pictures and videos I posted on Instagram earlier. They was beautiful. It was pictures of me and Kay’Lo smilin’, pink dust on his skin, the family behind us, Pluto holdin’ my face while I cried, Sha’Nelle holdin’ me from behind and me and my mother-in-law huggin’ and holdin’ each other. I had a couple with Pressure and Renza too. Everything looked perfect.
Then I stared down at my hand and lifted it under the light. The new ring Kay’Lo put on my finger sparkled like it was alive. The diamond was massive and the band wrapped around my finger like it was made just for me. My first ring was beautiful too, but this one felt like a promise he wanted the whole world to see. It was expensive as hell, but I knew Kay’Lo ain’t think twice about it. That man would give me anything if he felt it showed how deep he loved me.
I rubbed my belly without thinkin’. I was so happy today, but somewhere underneath all that joy was this small ache.
Kay’Lo’s trial was still comin’. His lawyer was fightin’ hard, and the family was doin’ everything in their power to protect him, but the thought of him bein’ taken away from me made my stomach twist. If I had it my way, every charge would be dropped and we’d be allowed to live our life without this shit hangin’ over us. But life ain’t work like that, and every time I thought about Kay’Lo facin’ a trial, I got this coldness in my bones.
I tried to shake it off, but I couldn’t. I opened Instagram and clicked on my stories ‘cause for whatever reason I wanted to see who watched them. I knew damn well I ain’t need to be doin’ this. Curiosity was gon’ kill me one of these days.
I tapped through each story and saw exactly what I expected—Family, friends and followers. It was people who loved us and people who was nosy as hell. Then I saw Echo’s name. And right under her name was a fake profile I’d been seein’ for a while, thesame one that watched every single thing I posted. I knew it was her. Kay’Lo knew it was her. Everybody knew it was her.
My heart started beatin’ a lil’ different. I clicked out of my stories and went straight to her page. She had a pinned post that wasn’t there the last time I checked her page.
When it opened, I froze.
It was a video of Kay’Lo, and not no regular video either. It wasn’t some shit he knew was bein’ recorded.
He was outside of a hotel room, walkin’ in circles in that way he did when his mind slipped into that place he hated talkin’ about. He was mumblin’ to himself, sayin’ things only he understood and lookin’ around like he was searchin’ for somethin’ that wasn’t really there. Anybody who ain’t know him would think he was actin’ crazy, but I recognized it instantly. This was Kay’Lo in one of his schizophrenic episodes, vulnerable as hell, caught between reality and whatever his mind was pullin’ him toward.
Then this bitch’s caption made my whole body go hot.
Y’all boy out here acting like this and he got a baby on the way. Only a dummy would get pregnant by a nigga who move like this. And I heard he having a daughter too so Karma gon’ tap at his door for him being a killer and a rapist.
