My whole family was behind me, doin’ what they could from the outside, but Auntie Abeni… she was a whole different lane. She wasn’t the type to hope shit worked out. She made shit move. She made doors open. She made powerful people nervous. And if she was workin’ on my case, I already knew somebody important was losin’ sleep over it.
“Yeah,” I said. “I know. I just ain’t think it was gon’ take this long. It’s been three fuckin’ weeks.”
Pressure replied, “Look who you killed.”
“Two goofy ass niggas who tried me over a bitch that mean nothin’ to me,” I said instantly. “They ain’t think I was gon’ shoot, but I counted that shit out loud.”
Renza said, “You did, but we ain’t gon’ say too much about that lil’ situation over the phone. Just know we behind you. Ain’t nobody foldin’ on you.”
“Appreciate that,” I said. And I meant it.
Pressure asked, “You want me to check on Toni?”
“She good,” I said quick. “I been talkin’ to her. But check on her anyway.”
“A’ight.”
We chopped it up a lil’ more, talkin’ about dumb shit. It loosened me up for a minute, and it made me feel normal.
But eventually the guard told me it was ‘bout time to wrap it up.
“A’ight,” I said, “I’m about to call my wife.”
“Bet,” Pressure said. “We gon’ tap back in later.”
“Love you, Cuz,” Renza added all dramatic. “Tell them niggas in there stop lookin’ at you.”
“Man, shut yo’ ass up,” I said, smilin’ as I hung up.
I dialed Toni next, and the phone rang once. Then a minute passed. Then her soft voice came through the receiver.
“Hey baby,” she said real low.
Immediately I knew she had been cryin’. Her voice wasn’t strong. It wasn’t even her normal irritated tone she used when she ain’t wanna show no emotion. She sounded tired, and hurt. She sounded like she needed me.
“Hey baby,” I said.
My chest pulled tight. “You good?”
“No,” she said honestly. “I’m tryin’ but… Kay’Lo, they talkin’ ‘bout stickin’ a needle in yo’ fuckin’ arm and killin’ you. I can’t deal with that. I can’t even sleep right. I feel like I can’t breathe.”
I closed my eyes, ‘cause the shit got to me. If I was weak, that’s when I would’ve broke, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t do this shit on the phone with her, when she needed me to be stronger than both of us.
“Baby… before I let these muthafuckas put a needle in my arm, I’ll flip this whole jail upside down and walk out this bitch free. They not takin’ me from you. Ain’t nobody touchin’ me.Ain’t nobody stoppin’ me from comin’ home to you and my baby.”
She ain’t say nothin’. She just cried soft into the phone.
“You ain’t losin’ me,” I said. “I promise you that.”
“Kay’Lo… I’m scared.”
“I know,” I whispered. “But don’t stress my baby out. You carryin’ my child now. You gotta breathe for both of y’all ‘cause I can’t do it from in here.”
“I been tryin’…”
“I know you have, and I swear to God if I could break out this bitch just to kiss you and rub on your stomach, I would. Ain’t nothin’ more important to me than you and my baby. Ain’t nothin’ in this world gon’ stop me from bein’ a daddy. If I gotta turn up on this whole legal system, ain’t nobody gon’ have no peace.”
She breathed out slow, like she needed to let the weight fall somewhere else for a second.
