“Are you okay? Are you hurt?” he asked.
Too anxious to speak, I nodded in response to his first question, my lips quivering.
He exhaled sharply and wiped the blood on my face, then embraced me tightly. “I’m here now. I’m here.”
I wrapped my arms around him and let my tears flow like a river.
***
Back at the mansion, he carried me in his arms through the hallways, barking orders to his men to double security. The smell of sweat and gunpowder clung to his suit as he headed to my bedroom.
The entire mansion was in disarray. Guards were running around and mounting their positions. Maids stood helplessly at different sections of the house, fear and concern etched on their faces. Perhaps they thought I was hurt or something.
He pushed my door open and rushed inside, then quietly sat me down on my feet. “Can you stand?”
It was only after I nodded that he finally let go. Yet his eyes never left me. Even when I sat on the sofa, trying to process the whole thing, he towered over me as if consumed by guilt.
It was obvious that he wanted to comfort me, but he lacked the knowledge to do so. Adrik had no idea what to say or do, but I could still sense his anxiety.
“If you want, I can instruct the maids to help get you cleaned up,” he said, his voice softer than I’d ever heard.
“That won’t be necessary.” I glanced up at him. “I can manage.”
“They won’t mind.”
“I know. But I’ll clean myself up, thank you.”
He nodded, staring at me like he didn’t know what else to do. “I’ll…I’ll let you freshen up then.”
Silence.
He let out a quiet exhale and then left the room without another word. After the door closed behind him, I rose to my feet and turned to the woman looking back at me in the mirror.
She was sweaty and shaky with faint smudges of blood on her face. She had bags under her eyes from how long she cried. Her tears had ruined her light makeup, creating dark trails along her cheeks.
This woman had looked death in the eyes and survived. She watched her bodyguards drop dead while protecting her. She witnessed more death and chaos in one afternoon than she had in her whole life.
I couldn’t believe that woman was me.
With quaking knees, I walked over to the mirror for a closer look. And there, I could barely recognize my own reflection. Even now, within the safety of this fortress, I could still hear their screams and the gunshots that claimed their lives.
Their voices echoed in the back of my mind, a reminder that it should’ve been me. Not them. When I closed my eyes, all I saw was blood—their lifeless bodies sprawled across the ground.
How was I going to live with myself knowing that those men were people’s husbands, sons, and fathers? And they all died protecting me. Why? Why was my life more significant than theirs? Because I was privileged to marry their boss?
It didn’t seem fair to me, and I was going to carry this guilt for the rest of my life.
I wiped my tears with the back of my hand, then took my clothes off. I stared at my nakedness in the mirror for a moment, recalling the way Adrik had arrived in the nick of time to save me. If he’d been a second late, I wouldn’t be standing here right now.
The man was the reason I was still alive.
I walked into the bathroom, and under the cold shower, I washed the blood and sweat from my skin. For the next twenty minutes, I was in there, scrubbing and washing like it would somehow wash away my guilt.
Later, after I was done bathing and had changed into a clean white robe, I went to the balcony for some fresh air. I’d poured myself a glass of red wine and was sipping it while gazing across the horizon.
There was a knock on my door.
At first, I wanted to ignore it, but on second thought, I decided not to. I drained what was left of the wine down my throat, then returned to the room and set the glass down on the nearest table.
