Which is exactly why my chest tightens a little as I watch his expression while the truck idles in the driveway.
I don’t want him to judge it because that feels more like he’s judging me. I never give a shit what people think, but I care what he thinks.
I don’t want him to see the crooked fence posts or the barn that still needs half a new roof or the porch steps that creak when you walk on them.
I stare out the windshield, pretending I’m not paying attention.
“Well,” I say lightly, trying to sound casual. “Welcome to my humble chaos.”
Cole doesn’t answer right away.
Instead he shuts off the truck and looks out across the yard.
And right on cue, the goats start yelling.
One of the chickens squawks from somewhere near the barn.
Then Pickle the donkey lets out a loud, dramatic bray that echoes across the pasture like a dying trumpet.
I close my eyes briefly.
“Don’t,” I mutter under my breath.
Cole finally speaks.
“What… is that?”
I sigh.
“That,” I say, opening my eyes again, “would be Pickle.”
He turns his head slowly to look at me.
“Pickle.”
“The donkey.”
Another bray cuts through the night like he’s personally offended we’re ignoring him.
Cole looks back toward the pasture.
For a second I can’t read his expression at all.
Then the corner of his mouth twitches just slightly.
And something in my chest loosens a little.
The truck engine ticks quietly as it cools, and for a moment neither of us moves. The animals keep up their usual chaos out in the yard like they’ve decided this is the perfect time to announce their presence to the entire county. The goats are yelling from the pen, one of the chickens is squawking like it’s personally offended by something, and Pickle lets out another long, dramatic bray that echoes across the pasture.
I sigh and push open the truck door.
“Come on,” I say.
Cole is out of the truck a second later, his boots crunching lightly on the gravel as he walks around the front. Even in the dim light from the porch I can feel his eyes moving over everything. The barn. The pasture fence. The yard. The house.
Assessing.
It makes me oddly self-conscious.
