LANDON WAITED INhis SUV for Raquelle to come out of the house that he once called home, admiring it and the surrounding property. He thought he might have seen her glancing out the window when he drove up but didn’t take that as a sign that she was comfortable enough for him to encroach upon her personal space now that they had gone their separate ways.I won’t put pressure on her right now to let me in, figuratively and literally, till I feel she’s ready, he told himself.
After Raquelle came out of the house and climbed into the passenger seat, Landon gave her a brief smile, while captivated by her beauty, and said, “All set?”
“Yes,” she replied coolly, putting on her seat belt. “Let’s go see if Eddie is hiding on the rez.”
As they drove down Interstate 77 North for the roughly seventy-five-mile drive, Landon considered the FBI, working in conjunction with the Bureau of Indian Affairs Missing and Murdered Unit, in prioritizing investigations of Indigenous persons who were missing, deceased, or otherwise unaccounted for. Eddie certainly fell under that premise, though Landon was focused more on the missing aspect of his CI at the moment rather than dead. It seemed reasonable that Raquelle’s brother might have sought refuge in a safe space and comfort zone. The reservation would seem to fit the bill. And bring Raquelle back to a place she also once called home and filled a special place in her heart.
Landon turned to her musingly and couldn’t help but ask what had been weighing on his mind ever since first seeing Raquelle again at the marina, “So, are you seeing anyone these days?”
She cast her eyes at him, thoughtful. “No,” she replied, adding added, “No one special.”
“I see.” Landon liked the first answer better, even if he had no right to expect that she would have been saving herself for him over the last few years. He wondered if the second answer meant that she had been dating men who weren’t special enough to hold her attention or desire for the long term.
“What about you?” Raquelle cut into his reverie.
“I’m also single right now,” he told her honestly. “Betweenwork and more work, my dating life has pretty much taken a hit since things ended between us.”
“Hmm…” she cadenced, as if believing he was simply giving her a line.
“What?” He took his eyes off the road briefly to gaze at her profile. “You don’t believe me?”
“Should I?” Raquelle flashed him a deadpan look. “Rumor has it that you’ve been keeping pretty busy with single-life escapades.”
“Rumors, huh?” Landon laughed. “Don’t believe everything you hear—or heard, Raquelle. Trust me when I say that you’ve been a hard act to follow.” Even if he had tried to put himself out there when it seemed as though there was no going back for them.
She blushed. “Oh, really?”
“Yeah, really,” he reiterated. “Romantic adventures can only go so far when they’re empty of real feelings.”
“Okay,” she said, leaving it at that as they both sat silent for a few minutes.
During that time, Landon thought about the ups and downs of their marriage and how they ended up where they were. He couldn’t really place a finger on how things deteriorated to the point of no return. Could she?
Finally, he turned toward her and asked straightforwardly, “What happened with us?”
Raquelle pursed her lips. “I think you know what happened. We let things come to a head and got divorced.”
“That’s the simple answer,” he stated sharply, “but can you go into more specifics? I know we had conflicting work schedules and trouble communicating—I just need answers on how the marriage was allowed to fall apart without trying a hell of a lot harder to keep it going…”
She glared at him. “Are you saying it was all my fault?”
“No—nothing of the sort.” Landon realized how it might have come across that way and needed to clarify. “I accept my fair share of the blame, believe me. We both let things slip away and have to own up to it.”
Raquelle responded, “I have owned up to my role in the marriage failing. If you have too, then you know that we both spent way too much time being career obsessed—or so it seemed—which came at the expense of starting a family. I couldn’t deal with that.”
“I didn’t think you were ready to have children at the time any more than I was,” Landon spoke defensively, wishing he had been more secure with his job when the subject came up. “If I somehow misinterpreted that, you should have been more forthcoming in your point of view.”
“Would it have made a difference?” she challenged him.
“Absolutely,” he asserted. “What I wanted more than anything was to make you happy. That included having kids—something I always felt was in our future, but I only wanted to wait a little while longer while we gained a greater foothold in our careers and saved money. If you had wanted to get started sooner and expressed this, I would’ve done whatever I could to make that happen—including working fewer hours and cutting any corners necessary to make ends meet.”
Raquelle seemed to allow this to sink in before she said contemplatively, “I guess I should’ve communicated better about this. I did want to wait a little longer to have a child but definitely was looking forward to that as soon as possible. I just wasn’t sure we were on the same pagethere, which seemed to compound the trivial issues we had.”
“Wewereon the same page,” Landon tried his best to assure her, even if they were looking backward in what went wrong. “Though I didn’t always express this, I wanted what you did in our personal lives—in spite of leaning too heavily on the minor grievances we threw at each other—and wish I’d fought harder to save the marriage.” He eyed her, heartfelt in his sincerity. “And keep you in my life.”
“We both could have—should have—done things differently, Landon,” Raquelle told him, regret in her tone. “But we were younger, more immature, and less certain of who we were and what we wanted and needed in our lives.” Her voice broke. “Like other failed marriages, hindsight gives us a clearer perspective—only too late to reverse course.”
“Says who?” He tossed this question at her impulsively but meant it. “There’s nothing out there that prevents divorced couples from giving it another go—only with greater clarity in what they want and what might be possible to achieve the second time around.”
