“Hey, hey.” Somehow he’d erased the gap between them and took hold of her shoulders, pulling her close.
“No, no…” Though Leighton wanted to flee, she welcomed the ripple of strength coming from Apollo.
“Fear is having a rave in your mind, Nouri.”
She resisted, mentally argued—but for some strange reason, she didn’t back away this time. Didn’t refuse his touch when it landed on her upper arms. “Call me Leighton.” Why was she telling him to do that?
Because I’m tired of all the lies and subterfuge.
“No matter what happens, Leighton,” he said with particular emphasis, “I want to see you freed from this mental terror that has held you hostage.”
Tired of fighting, tired of being on the defensive every second of every day, she wilted at those words. At hearing someone see her, see the agony in her chest. She yielded to his gentle urging into his embrace. As his arms wrapped around her, she savored the warmth chasing off the chill that had consumed her, and unlocked the fortress walls around her heart, behind which she’d hidden for two decades.
A torrent of grief erupted. Feeling his hand slide around her back and draw her even closer, she surrendered. Dropped her forehead against his chest, weeping. No more… She couldn’t do this anymore. “I’m so tired…of everything.”
His other hand cradled her head. “What you’ve gone through is unfair.”
The words rumbling through his chest beneath her ear were strangely comforting. “I’ve tried,” she sniffled into his shoulder, wanting to hide there. No, not hide—shelter from the ravenous world eating away at her soul. “I’ve tried to be what they wanted me to be. Tried not to upset or anger them. I even let Rayan think I like him, but it”—she shuddered—“it terrifies me.”
“What does?”
“Where it could lead.”
Apollo stiffened. “You mean marriage?”
Leighton jerked up to look into his eyes. “What? No!” Their faces were a whisper apart, ramping up her heart, so she eased out of his embrace. “They’re trying to kill me! His interest—Aliyah’s kindness, his—it’s all a trap. A ruse to get me to relax and…and…” She moaned. “I don’t know what. Or why.” Holding her throbbing head, she walked the room again. “I thought he was nice—he’d been kind to me.”
“Correction, the kindest of these royals. But that’s not true kindness.”
She gave a conceding bob of her head. “My point is that I trusted him. And I don’t want to believe he’s trying to lure me into complacency.” She rubbed her forehead where a tension headache was brewing. “I should be ashamed, because what other explanation is there for his sudden attention?”
Apollo sniffed. “That you’re beautiful? Intelligent?—”
Though his words made her pulse race, she scoffed and pivoted. “The men of the Central Kingdom do not know how to appreciate a woman with a brain.” She wilted again and dropped onto the couch again. “I thought, just play along, Leighton—it doesn’t matter as long as Ummi stays alive.” Letting out a long groan, she tilted her head against the back of the couch and stared up at the gold light fixture. “But my conscience won’t let me lie to him.” She harrumphed and straightened, folding her arms. “I’m sure it’s all over my face that I don’t like him, at least not in that way, so lying to him will only make matters worse. No matter how I try to shield my indifference”—she huffed and held both splayed hands in front of her face—“it’s right there.”
Apollo came around and sat on the chair opposite her, his expression inscrutable. He studied her for a second. “You’re not as masterful with that indifference as you might believe.”
“What…?”
“I am fairly sure everyone, me included, bought that you were…into him. That the flirting today was real.”
“Flirting?” she balked, widening her eyes. “I was not flirting with him!”
“Then you’re an expert-level faker, because I seriously considered punching the guy into next year more than once.” He gave a lopsided nod. “The fact that his uncle could have me executed kept me in check.”
Though an incredulous laugh escaped her, Leighton stared at him for a long minute. Was he serious? She took in his blue eyes, that squared jaw. Recalled how he’d intercepted Nasir when he’d tried to assault her. “You were…jealous?” Why did that make her heart skip a beat? But— “You were flirting with Aliyah.”
He chortled. “Not in this or any lifetime. Every time I turned around—bam, she was right there. Couldn’t get away from her. Though, God knows I tried.”
Was he serious that he didn’t like the princess? “But why? She’s cute, bubbly. And she likes you—she told me.”
“She’s not cute,” he countered, forcefully slicing a hand toward the ground, “and I don’t care what she thinks of me. It’s not a requisite to getting my job done.”
Leighton found it hard to believe. “Everything about her is perfect—her eyes, her smile, those dimples?—”
“You mean the craters.”
Laughing at that word, she stilled. It wasn’t funny. Not really. Her mind churned over his emphatic use of that word and how his curled lip confirmed it. His sky-blue eyes were laden with conviction and mortification.
