She cleared her throat. “I was … favored. From the beginning. He said I was smart, pretty.” She saw him nod and startled that he agreed. “He told Manal—she was the madam then—to tutor me. Teach me. I was given my own room. Clothes, jewels, shoes.” She shrugged. “Whatever I wanted, really. Eventually, my own apartment and car. In a lot of ways, being one of his favored ones—Poppies, he called us—saved me. Of course, not completely. As a Poppy, I was also given to his VIPs: high-ranking officials, officers, dignitaries, soldiers. Whoever he wanted to impress. Because of that, I also became”?—she eyed him—“the captain’s favorite, too.”
He violently bounced his legs, his blue eyes fierce with anger.
Did he think poorly of her—more than before? Hate her? Good men could not accept that she had been so … used. So much. Readily she could admit to not wanting to see his anger, his rejection. Theirs was a marriage she desperately wanted to be real. But it was a fantasy. Had to be.
Range folded his arms over his chest. “I’m listening.”
Kasra drew in a breath for courage. Thought of her friend. “Another Poppy was my good friend, Alzena. She was Manal’s sister, so we were both protected from much. I should have been given to anyone high enough in the architecture of the ring, but Madam kept both Alzena and I busy with chores, errands, gave us extra things—which I always shared with the others. I saw how our treatment hurt and angered the other girls, and that hurt and angered me. I was not any better and I certainly did not deserve protection when they were abused so horribly.” Her heart raced as it had each time she thought of all the things she had been unable to prevent and forced to do. “For a long time, I thought that Madam gave us this treatment because she liked us and she wanted us happy so Taweel would be happy.”
Range narrowed his gaze. “It was for her.”
She inclined her head. “She did want Taweel happy, but not for the reason I supposed. But because I discovered she was stealing from him. I was terrified he would learn of her treachery. Terrified she would be killed and then us, so I kept the secret. Kept my mouth closed.”
“He found out.”
“He always did.” Kasra remembered that day as if it had just happened. “He killed her right in front of me and the other Poppies—beat her to death with a cudgel.” She touched her cheek, remembering the blood that had splatted there. “And he walked over to me, his hands sticky with her blood, cupped my face, and said I had always been his favorite. That it was my turn.”
His nostrils flared. “When was that?”
“Five years ago.”
His dark blond brows furrowed as he angled in closer, resting his arms on the table. “Why did you stay? Why didn’t you get out sooner? How could you run that place?”
“Stay?” she repeated, frowning. Maybe the question did not have disgust in it, but it did have judgment. “I did notstay—I was a hostage. A captive, as all the girls were! True, I had no cuffs on my arms or shackles on my legs, but there were bars around my mind. Terror caged my heart and courage.”
“But you know how to fight. Why did you not—”
“Because!” she snapped, then drew in on herself. Withdrew the futile hope that he would ever understand or forgive her. No one who had not been abused or violated could ever really understand.
Especially men.
To them, it was simple. Black and white. Get away. Leave.
They did not know the paralyzing, immobilizing fear after watching a friend hacked to death. Or being raped so violently, you could not stand for days. “I saw what he did to others who tried to run. Manal was not the only one he beat to death or had his guards gang-rape. There were girls whose insides he burned out with acid. Each time I thought I had succeeded in overcoming his controlling nature, something would happen. Someone would die or vanish. Every day, I knew I could be next. Life at Roud was … terrifying. There were cameras everywhere. Our rooms, the kitchen, the office … My days were monitored. When I went into the market, he would send me texts, telling me what I did. Photos of me with mangos or talking to children. All to show me he kneweverything. My every move. My thoughts!”
Range shifted to the side. Away from the table. Bent forward and pinched the bridge of his nose.
“I thought like you once, that I could just leave. Be smart, think like James Bond, plan an escape. So, I watched the people in the city, found someone that everyone seemed to trust and like. I reached out for help.” She exhaled heavily. “Back at Roud that night, I learned he was Taweel’s cousin.” She felt her chin bouncing and fought to control the tears. “Taweel pulled me out into the courtyard where Alzena was tied to a stake. The guards raped her repeatedly in front of Allah and everyone. They then killed her,dis”—the word caught in her throat—“memberedher… Sent a piece of her chopped-up body to other compounds as a warning.” She struck her chest. “Because of me! Because I thought to escape.”
The memory was too horrible, to atrocious to cry. She had sobbed and grieved her friend for a year.
“Kasra.” He reached over. Touched her arm. “I’m sorry.” He looked stricken. “What a mind-game.”
“Truly. After that, every year on the anniversary of her death, I secreted one girl from the compound. It was my retribution. Taweel did not care or notice as long as money came in and hissuppliersbrought more girls. But”?—she made a claw-like gesture to her chest—“it ate at me, what he did to her. What I caused. What was done to all of us. I was so broken, so desperate for help, to find a way out …” She wiped the tears that blurred her eyes. Tried not to focus on the way he had turned away from her. Stared at the steel floor. “After Alzena, I gave up. Decided it was better to sneak girls out one by one—though it meant others were not saved—than to dare escape and get another killed.”
She shuddered a sigh, trying to ignore the way he pressed white knuckles to his lips. “Then the captain visited—one of the early times. His stays were often for a couple of days, so he would bring a pack like you have.” She sniffled. “When he was in the shower, I saw his small book of Proverbs from the Christian Bible.”
Range scowled.
“Ironic, is it not? Yet ... I think Allah did that for me. I hid it away and he did not miss it.” A smile wavered on her lips as she shrugged. “Silly, I know.”
“Not at all.”
Unsure what do with that or that his blue gaze was so steady, she kept going. “In Afghanistan, I am not sure which is worse—being a Christian or a prostitute. But I read the Proverbs over and over.” She almost smiled at him. “I have most of them memorized. The words helped me believe that Allah not only saw what was happening to us, Hehatedwhat was happening.”
“Of course He does.”
“It was those verses that gave me back my courage. There started my daring plan. I decided that even if I cannot save my soul, I would save as many girls as I could, even if it meant he killed me—that would be a relief. But I did not care. I hated that Taweel saw us as meat and profit, not people.”
