“At first, it was good, right? They had a house and I had a real mattress to sleep on for the first time in years. I thought I’d found a family, but um, they weren’t that.”
“What happened?”
“I was the house whore.”
He flinches, scrunching up his nose. “Fuck.”
“It became increasingly abusive, and one night they drugged me. I woke up in… a bad state. I was scared of getting a disease or dying of an overdose. So I took off. I heard Mistone was a good place where I might find some resources to help me out. I came here and I was getting by okay. One night I ran into Shadow. He saw something in me and offered me refuge. I was gun shy, of course, but I was cold and hungry and filthy, and I wanted to trust him so badly. He took me in and changed my world.”
“Did you know right away what it was?”
I nod. “In the morning, he met with me and told me what his organization did. He told me what he offered in exchange, which was a home, an income, and a place to belong. I, um, did some things on the streets that kind of prepared me for this.”
“You survived.”
“Yeah.” I wring my hands. “Shadow told me he’d give me thirty days to decide. I could go out with some of the guys and make my own mind up.”
“Wasn’t he worried you might tell someone?”
“His instincts about people are almost eerily good, but I also knew that he has a lot of powerful friends. No one would have believed me anyway.”
Cashmere nods. “That makes sense.”
“We operate in the dark, a silent force taking out problems all over the city. In a place like this, no one even notices most of the time. What happened last night was a matter of luck and good timing. I saved one girl, and there were others.”
Cashmere is watching me with an expression I can’t read.
“So now you know about me.” I mirror his earlier statement. “You know I’m a killer, that I’ve done bad things, and I will again. I’m not the kind of man you could take home to meet the fam, but I’m loyal as fuck, and I’d rather die than let something bad happen to you. Not on my watch, gorgeous. Not ever again.”
“You’re wrong about one thing. If I had a family, I’d take you home to meet them.” He leans forward, taking my hand in his. “You’re an amazing man, Specter. You endured a lot, and yeah, maybe your job isn’t the norm, but who am I to judge?”
“I can make you happy. I can give you everything you need. I want to. I’m gonna find the bastard who hurt you and rip him apart, you can count on that. But I need you to know that I’m so wrapped up in you, I don’t remember what I felt like before I saw your face.”
He releases a shaky breath. “I want to believe you.”
“I can prove it. You just gotta stick with me. That’s all I’m asking. Don’t run. Let me love you.”
Love.
The word lingers in the space between us, both of us aware of its weight. I could try to soften it, but what would I even say?
Cashmere’s brows furrow as his cheeks flush pink. He swallows hard before asking, “Is that what you want? To love me?”
“So much. I can’t say I even know what the fuck love looks like, but I want to figure it out. I want my love to be the thing that lights you up inside.”
His eyes turn glassy and he turns away, dragging his hand through his hair. “This is a lot.”
“I know. I never said I was subtle.”
He laughs softly. “No, you didn’t.”
I lift his hand and kiss it. His expression shifts and I see the fear in his eyes.
“I’m scared of you.”
“What? I would never?—”
“Not that kind of fear. The kind where I let myself feel… and then you’re… gone.”
