“You don’t want to know.”
“I asked you that last night and got the same response. Why would I ask if I didn’t want to know?”
“Making conversation? Forgetting what my job entails?” I shrug. “I don’t know.”
“How about being interested in your life and what you’re doing?”
“It’s better if I don’t tell you stuff. Then you’re not culpable in any way.”
“Why would I be culpable? Who would even know?” He sips his coffee as a deep crease appears on his brow. “You don’t trust me. You think I might tell someone.”
“No, that’s not it.” I squeeze his foot under the blankets. “That’s not it at all. I do trust you.”
“Then you think I’m a fragile doll who can’t handle it?”
His questions leave me a little flustered. “I, um…” I shake my head. “I’ve just never talked about it. Never had anyone to talk to about it except the guys.”
His expression relaxes. “Sorry. I’m bossy sometimes.”
“I like it.” I chew my bottom lip for a second, contemplating what to tell him. Shadow always says to use our judgment when it comes to who knows what in our lives, and I do trust Cashmere. “I rescued a girl last night from what I’m pretty sure was a sex trafficking ring.”
“Oh god. Is she okay?”
“Yeah. I took her to a shelter that deals with that kind of thing. She’s, um… fuck.” I blow out a breath. “She’s fourteen.”
“Jesus. That’s disgusting.”
“Yeah. It really bothers me when kids get hurt. She was lured to a party and drugged. That’s how it happens a lot.”
“I know. I got lucky avoiding it when I was on the streets.”
I snap my gaze up. “What?”
He sips his coffee like he didn’t just drop a major bomb on me. “I was homeless for a few years after I took off from my so-called family.”
“You left that part out before.”
“Wasn’t relevant.”
Yeah, it fucking is.
“I saw a lot of kids get swept under by drugs, picked up by creeps, then never come back. Some kids turned tricks to get some money to survive, but I couldn’t. I kind of wanted to.” He laughs darkly. “It looked easy, but me and my boyfriend said we’d do everything else before we resorted to that. We promised each other to not do drugs, no matter how bad reality was.”
“You loved him?”
Cashmere shrugs. “I suppose as much as a kid can. He took care of me, and he was real good about finding food for us. Decent food. He knew the schedules of restaurants and grocery stores, knew when they’d be throwing away food.”
Jesus. I know all too well this reality, but I’m shocked that such a beautiful creature does.
“I turned eighteen and got a job stripping. It was good money, but…” His breathing turns shallow for a moment before he takes a sip of his coffee and his shoulders drop a bit. “I hated the way the men looked at me. The way they talked to me. I was nothing in their eyes, just another piece of ass, and it ate me up.”
He sets the coffee mug down.
“I was gonna be a ballet dancer.” His voice breaks on the last word and he clears his throat. “I started when I was only three years old, but when my parents died, there were no more ballet classes. I grew up believing I’d go to Paris, London, or Moscow, but I would’ve been happy with anything as long as I got to dance.”
I nod, keeping my expression calm, but I’m being torn apart inside.
“At first I thought stripping would be almost like that.” He laughs. “I was very wrong. I tried several clubs too, but they were all the same.”
