If my parents cared, I’d imagine they’d be disappointed in me. They split up just after I graduated high school as predicted, and my mom doesn’t even live here anymore. She and her new husband live on a lake in the Pocono Mountains, and I’m lucky if I see her for Christmas. I sigh, swiping a stray water bottle cap into the trash, imagining her with her new husband in their beautiful lake house. If I think about it too hard, it makes me bitter.
My dad worries about me, though. He lives locally and I see him regularly. Every time I see him, he asks if I’m okay. I think he hoped I’d eventually find someone to settle down with but…it’s complicated. Now, I can’t help but think it's too late for me.
A knock at the door interrupts my pity party. “Melanie?” It’s Tyler, one of my best servers.
“There’s a table out here asking for a manager.” His voice sounds pained.
I paste a smile on my face. “Be right there.”
It’s another hour before I’m back behind the bar. The restaurant has quieted down, and most of the patrons are sitting around the bar, listening to various singers and bands. I’m refilling a Cape May IPA for one of my regulars when the door swings open, bringing with it a gust of air and a face so familiar to me, I think I might be hallucinating. The man is tall, easily six-foot-two, with a five-o'clock shadow and sunglasses propped on his head, despite it being dark out. He wears a tight gray T-shirt and has a soft black guitar case slung over his shoulder.
It can’t be.I squeeze my eyes shut and then open them again.Just someone else showing up to try to sing tonight.I shake my head in disbelief and turn away, allowing the man to sit down and settle in before I approach him.
“Mel, can I have a refill?” my good friend Miles calls from the corner. He and his fiancée, Jenna, are open-mic night regulars.
My neck tingles and my cheeks flush. “Yeah, sure.” I zoom over to Miles and take his empty pint glass, replacing it with another full one.
He side-eyes me. “You okay, Melanie?” Miles’s brow furrows.
“Yeah, you look pale.” Jenna reaches for my hand.
I suck in a steady breath. “Yeah. Yes. I just saw a ghost, is all.” I force a smile. But when I turn around, he’s still there, perched on a stool on the opposite corner, out of Miles and Jenna’s sightline.The furthest thing from a ghost. He’s perusing the menu, and since I cut Kasey, I’m the only bartender left. I have no choice but to go over and take his order.
I watch him carefully for a moment or two from behind the post in the middle of the bar. If he’s noticed me already, he hasn’t let on. He looks the same, just older. His hair is still that dirty blonde color with traces of honey. His body is lean but muscular, his forearms sinewy, probably from always holding and strumming a guitar. He glances up at the young girl singing a Taylor Swift song and smiles, showing his twin dimples that I never could get over.Josh.
It’s him all right. He has aged gracefully; he’s got to be forty now. Close to forty-one. I am suddenly extremely self-conscious. The makeup on my face is hours old by now, probably settled in the crow’s feet around my eyes.What does my hair look like?I try to catch a glimpse of my reflection in the computer screen. I pull my lip gloss out of the apron tied around my waist and smear some on, then pressing my lips together, I walk over to him.Maybe he won’t remember me.
“Hi,” I say tentatively, placing a bar napkin in front of him.
“Hey.” His voice comes out husky, but he doesn’t look up, still scanning the menu. “Is your kitchen still open?”
“Yep,” I squeak. “What can I get you to drink?” I’m desperate for a reason to turn around.
“Just a Coke, please.” Finally, he tears his eyes away from the greasy laminated menu and offers me a tight smile.
“Coke, got it,” I breathe nervously. “Coming right up.”
I whirl around to safety. My heart is hammering in my chest like it might just break through it. My palms are sweating, and the back of my neck is tingling. But he didn’t immediately react to my face so maybe I’m in the clear. I’m scooping ice into his glass when his voice catches me off guard.
“Melanie, is that you?”
Then
Mel,
I had fun playing guitar with you the other day.Want to jam again soon?
Josh
Josh,
I’d like that. But let’s keep it between us for now.
Melanie
2
JOSH
