I wince, scrunching my nose. “I’m afraid to ask,” I say, really leaning into my acting ability.
“My brother!” Cara squeals, jumping up and down.
I arch an eyebrow at her. “Your brother?”
“You can take Josh to prom.” Cara gives my shoulder a playful shove.
I laugh, shaking my head. “No, no, no. Josh and I are just friends,” I say, even though it’s far from true. Josh sees me. He makes me feel as if nothing else matters in this world but me and him. My stomach fills with butterflies, my cheeks heat. I fear I’m blowing my cover, but Cara doesn’t seem to notice.
“So?” Cara asks, putting her hands on her hips. “Take him as yourfriend. You two are always playing music together anyway.” She leans against the chain-link fence.
I chew on my lip, pretending to mull her suggestion over. “You wouldn’t mind?” I ask, my brow furrowing. There’s a part of me that is afraid to hear her answer.
“Ofcoursenot! You’re my best friend. I just want you there.” Cara pulls me into a hug.
“Fine. I’ll ask him,” I say cautiously, patting her shoulder blade and pulling back from the hug.
“Oh, you don’t have to do that.” A proud grin spreading across her face. “I already asked him for you, and he said yes.” She bounces back and forth on her toes excitedly.
“You what?” I shriek. “What if I said no to this little scheme of yours?” I fold my arms across my chest.
“You wouldn’t have.”
She’s right about that because as much as Cara thinks this little scheme is hers, she’s wrong. It’sours, and I can’t wait to have a magical evening with Josh.
“Fine.” I roll my eyes. “Let’s go find some prom dresses.”
The buzzing of my phone startles me from the memory. I glance down.Josh.
I can’t swipe quickly enough to open it, and I let out a growl when my phone gets my face ID wrong.What’s wrong with me?
Josh: Cooking for us tonight. Is your favorite still chicken parm?
Butterflies swarm my insides, spreading warmth through my lower region. I am smiling as I tap out a reply.
Me: Yes. 100%.
Josh: Good. See you at dinner.
Goose bumps rise on my arms, and I rub them away. “You still know how to get me, don’t you?” I say aloud to my phone. I hate that after all these years, he can waltz back in here and make me want him again. Like he didn’t just leave me alone in New Jersey, grieving the loss of my best friend, of him, of all the things left unsaid. I hated my parents and missed him like a lost appendage. And at the same time, it’s as if he never left. As if he always knew we’d be back here, together again. Or, maybe I’m making all of this up in my head.
I want him. I hate how much I want him because I’m sure it will lead to nowhere good. He’s not just Josh anymore—he’s Rockstar Josh. He’ll have his fun with me and then go off and chase his dreams again. But I think maybe, he might want me too. For more than just the music. There’s still something between us. I feel it in the quickening of my heart every time he grabs my hand. His face always wearing the same tentative expression, like he’s holding something back. But he never lets go of my hand first.
I let out a defeated sigh before tossing my phone to the side, determined to finish this schedule and keep my mindoffJosh.
* * *
My afternoon picksup and before I know it, Andrew is walking in for the evening shift. I give him a debrief on the day and sling my purse over my shoulder, anxious to get home to Josh. I’m off tomorrow and we can stay up all night making music if we want to. For the first time in a long time, I feel excited about life. I’m looking forward to whatever these summer months getting to know Josh again may hold. Even if it means I’m left with a broken heart.
10
JOSH
NOW
As soon as I hear Melanie’s footsteps outside the door, my heart jumps to my throat. She has always made me nervous, but now that she’s agreed to play music with me again, it’s a whole new level of insecurity. I’d be lying if I said I haven’t felt things this past week. Our relationship was special. Losing both her and Cara at the same time? It damn near broke me. I turn away from the front door and force myself to focus on filling our water glasses.
“It smells good in here.” Melanie’s voice singsongs behind me.
