Me:I miss you.
I text, knowing he won’t see it for hours yet. I picture the words like a message in a bottle, bobbing on the sea. There are so many kinds of love in the world and suddenly I feel like I’m drowning in it.
*****
As much I want to help, Lisa really doesn’t seem to want it. She and Luna spend the next two days at the park, leaving me on my own with my endless list of tasks.
I never thought about how many things I’d come to own in my lifetime. I’m on the verge of just Marie Kondo-ing the whole thing. None of it brings me joy when it’s in the way of my fresh start with Steven. But I can’t just get rid of Grannie’s possessions. The house still has her energy and I don’t ever want that to fade.
Dressing for dinner feels like gearing up for battle. I’m not looking forward to defending myself against my parents again, but I’m determined to be strong for Lisa. If that means taking the heat while she works up the courage to speak her truth, then that’s what I have to do.
Steven and I got to touch base a little. The 12 hour time difference makes it feel like I’m dating a vampire—operating oncompletely opposite schedules. There is no way we can keep this up for long.
It’s almost a relief to get out of the house and hit the road to Mom and Dad’s.
“We’re glad you made it, baby.” Mom kisses my cheeks like she didn’t just see me a few days ago and shoot my dreams down like a bird from the sky.
“Where’s the Aussie?” Dad chirps, pulling me into a strong hug.
“A big donor arrived on Gili Telu. He had to head back.”
“Ah, so that’s a wrap on that one then, eh?” Mom raises her eyebrows as we follow her into the house. “Do you think you’ll stay penpals?”
“Mom, Steven is my boyfriend.” We’ve never used that exact terminology but as I have a list of things to pack for starting our life together, it feels like a safe bet. “I’ll be back with him soon. Remember, the new chapter?”
We’ve just walked in the door and I’m already ready for a fight. Mom takes Baby Luna from Lisa’s hands and rocks her side to side as she looks pointedly away from me.
“So you’re still planning on that. Freelancing? Moving to Bali?”
I can feel my blood beginning to boil. “Yes. It’s happening. And even if it all goes to hell, and I have to return home alone with my tail between my legs, it’ll still be worth it. This is my life, Mom. It’s the only one I get. And it’s time I start living it. It’s time to take a chance. It’s time—”
“Mom, Ryan and I are getting divorced.”
I’m just building up steam when Lisa’s voice rings clear across the room. All activity stops—even Mom’s spastic bouncing of the baby grinds to a halt.
“What?”
“Honey.” Dad’s arms open and Lisa runs into them, dissolving into tears. Mom awkwardly hugs her with one hand, the other cradling a happy, oblivious Luna. I can’t help it, I run up and wrap my arms around the whole lot of them. I’m so fucking proud of my baby sister.
Dinner is a mess of laughing and crying. Voices are raised, and Ryan is thoroughly abused as the details trickle out, but the important thing is that we’re all together. Lisa was so terrified of their reactions, but at the heart of it all, our family only wants what’s best for each other. We want each other to be happy. Sometimes it just takes a little while to remember that we’re all on the same team.
After dinner, Dad pulls me close. I take a deep breath, letting the smell of home and safety envelop me.
“You know, we’re proud of you kiddo. We always knew you’d go on to do big things.”
I look up at him, my eyes swimming in tears.
“What do you mean? I’ve just been hanging out here for the past few years. David was the one smashing goals and growing his business.”
“Of course we loved having you close to home, but if this is what you want, then you should go for it. Steven seems like a nice young man. And that accent! Makes me want to watch some old episodes of Crocodile Hunter.”
I snort. “He doesn’t really sound like that.”
He rubs a hand on my back and my head falls onto his shoulder, letting all the fight drain out of me.
“Your Mom means well,” he says in a lower voice. We both watch Mom and Lisa, whispering together on the couch. Luna sleeps soundly in her baby chair nearby. “Go ask her about your bucket list.”
“My bucket list?”
