Junie
I can tell that Steven thinks this goodbye will be forever. It sits unspoken in every moment we share together, even though we try not to let it ruin our magic.
Because every moment with him is magic.
Waking up together, catching glimpses of him around the sanctuary, watching him talk about diving and marine life to guests. Whether I’m watching him from afar or tangled in his arms, I’m drawn to the man. Nothing can keep me away.
I can come back here. I can build a life here. At the very least, I can live here for a while until I figure out what I want my life to look like. We could build something together.
Unless he doesn’t want me.
I know in my heart that that isn’t it—no one could fake the connection we have. But something isn’t right.
With only a few days left in my volunteer commitment, my flight home is booked, and there is an elephant the size of New York dancing in every room we walk in.
I’m snuggled up on the couch in the employee room, enjoying the early-evening quiet and talking to Eva on FaceTime. Shecalled while I was designing some evergreen graphics for the sanctuary to use even after I’m gone.
“So you really think you’ll go back out there?” she asks. I hear concern in her voice, but no judgement.
“I think I’ve finally found something meaningful thatIwant to do, not that someone else told me was good, or smart, or socially acceptable.”
Eva sucks her teeth. “That’s pretty badass. I wouldn’t want to give that up either.”
“I don’t think ithasto be saving sea turtles, but I don’t know what it is yet. And I’m happier here than I can ever remember being. I have the money, I have the time, it’s not like there’s anyone waiting for me back home.”
Eva’s expression makes me laugh. “Besides you, of course. Everyone else is just busy. They’ve got their own lives. Lisa has Baby Luna and my parents are pretty obsessed with being grandparents right now. I’ve always been the easy one who did what I was told. No one’s worrying about me.”
“Do you think they’ll worry now? Have you told them anything?”
“No. They obviously know I extended my stay, but I haven’t talked to them about flying back permanently. They know David and I are through, so a generous interpretation of their silence is that they’re giving me space, but like I said, they’re just busy.”
“It’s giving serious Eldest Daughter.” Eva sighs, and it loosens something in my chest to know that even thousands of miles away, my best friend knows what I’m going through. At least, until she burst out with—“So how is ol’ Steve? Crikey mate!”
I’m spared the necessity of responding to Eva’s terrible impression when Jake appears on screen. He’s shirtless,wrapped in a towel, and searching through the refrigerator in the background.
“Eva, is that—”
She blushes and turns to ogle him. “Yeah, Jake’s visiting.”
“I can’t believe you let me rant all that time and you didn’t say anything! Hi Jake!”
“Hi Junie.” He waves and then checks that his towel is covering everything before moving off-screen.
Eva’s grinning, but before she can say anything else, Thomas bursts into the room, out of breath.
“I found you!” he pants as I pull an AirPod out. “The babies, we think they’re coming!”
My chest flutters.It’s happening.I’ve been so afraid that I would miss the hatching, it’s been looming over my head like a gray cloud.
“I’ve got to go, babe. The baby turtles are hatching!” I click off the phone amidst her coos and cries of “Take lots of pics!”
“Steven’s out looking for you too. We didn’t want you to miss it.”
“Thank you,” I say, touched that he thought of me. Thomas has seen a lot of hatching nests over the years but his clear excitement is contagious.
We fly through the sand toward the stretch of beach I remember from Night Watch with Steven. Memories of that first kiss make me blush and I just hope that no one notices.
The new volunteers are grouped around a patch of palm trees, chatting quietly while the sun slowly dips behind the horizon. Mt Agung glows in the distance and insects buzz around my ears.
