A chorus of shouts rings out. Pots and pans clang as the air clouds with steam.
“Sorry! Maaf! Good on ya, supper was great!” I duck and weave toward the exit, taking the goodnatured lashes from the kitchen crew who all know me by name.
“Keluar!” Chef Made slaps me with a towel as I spin out the rear door.
“I’m going!” I sprint for my flat a few blocks away, my body on fire.
Very fucking mature, Steven.
Chapter 8
Junie
I stand in the hallway for at least two minutes, but Steven is not coming back. A sinking feeling settles in my chest and my fingers dig into the thin fabric of his stupid soft shirt.What the hell is wrong with him?
It stings more than it should. The last few days I’ve felt something explosive growing between us. After Eva pointed it out, I felt his eyes on me constantly. It made me aware of every inch of my body. I fuckingtingledin his presence. I’ve never felt so alive.
But he clearly wants nothing to do with me. Maybe I read the whole thing wrong. Maybe it was never about the man at all—my mind and body were just excited about the novelty. Maybe I’m just outrageously horny for scuba diving.
I bring the shirt to my nose, take a big sniff, and the argument in my mind fades away. Okay, so he doesn’t want me. That item on my list will remain unchecked. That won’t drive me crazy at all, especially not on the last night of the best trip of my life.
I make sure to straighten my spine and brighten up my smile before I head back to the table. Eva catches my eyes and I shake my head slightly, looking away before I can see her disappointment.
A few people have filtered out while I was in the hallway, alone. Nick and Nancy are giving big hugs all around and exchanging their hotmail accounts with everyone as I mutter under my breath.
“Not happening. He’s gone. Let’s just enjoy tonight.”
She squeezes my hand under the table but nods before turning to the happy couple.
Nancy’s hug is solid and my smile is genuine by the time they’ve left the bar.
“They were sweet,” Eva says as Thomas scoots down the table to join our conversation.
“I liked them. I hope I’m that cool in my sixties,” I agree.
“I still feel awful that I didn’t get to teach you,” Juliette frowns, picking at the label on her beer bottle. “Now that you’re both certified, you should come on some fun dives!”
I’d noticed she stopped drinking after Steven showed up. I wonder what he’s like as a boss—is he a strict disciplinarian? Does he believe in corporal punishment? I have a feeling those hands could deliver the sweetest spankings but now I’ll never know. It’s also absolutely not something I want to think about in public.
“Yeah, we’re going to Bounty Wreck on Friday. Have you ever seen a pygmy seahorse?” Mason leans in.
Eva and I shake our heads and the three of them groan. Juliette pulls out her phone.
Thomas’s eyes light up. “They’re really hard to spot, but so fricking cute. There’s also sea moths and slugs that look likealiens. I don’t dive much, but the photos they bring back are insane.”
Juliette turns the screen and we dissolve into cuteness-overload noises. The adorable creature is white with pink dots and a mouth puckered up into a tiny pout. Just looking at it fills my chest with warmth.
“You’re telling me these are real? God, I’d love nothing more than to dive every day for the rest of my life.” I sigh.
“It’s addicting,” Mason nods.
“It’s too bad we’re leaving tomorrow.” Eva’s face falls, then quickly breaks out in a smile. “But I do kind of miss my bed.”
God, I don’t feel like that at all. Nothing in Eastern Pines feels like home to me anymore. The conversation flows around me and I try to stay focused, but the reminder feels like a cloud over my head. Tomorrow morning we’ll take a ferry back to the mainland and then drive to the airport for our 8 PM flight.
I’m not ready to go. I’ve finally seen glimmers of the person I could be. The different paths my life could take.
I never thought I’d end up in my hometown forever. Iwantbabies and the whole shebang. A partner I can trust. A life I can be proud of. I just don’t know what that looks like for me. Latching onto David and his goals, letting him set the pace of our relationship—it was easier than risking failure on my own.
