Eva’s elbow in my side is a clearI told you so, but I’m not so sure.
“No Juliette today?” I ask, aiming for politely inquisitive.
“Mmm,” he grumbles, not deigning to even grace me with words.
Sure Eva, sparks are flying, I think.
The shore dive is phenomenal. It’s one thing to try on all the gear in the safety of a swimming pool, but remembering all of the numbers, the equipment, and the hand signals in the ocean is a challenge. Distractions are everywhere—in the swaying sea grass, the curious fish, an instructor who seems to be most approachable in the water where neither of us can speak.
Scuba diving is so much more immersive than snorkeling. I feel like a mermaid. A fish. I’m one with the water and I never want to come back up.
The dives focus mainly on practicing our buoyancy, testing our understanding of the equipment, and our communication underwater. But I want to follow every fish, every crab, every flash of something new, and I have to focus to keep from smiling around my regulator at every new creature. It’s like landing on another planet. The slow, rhythmic sound of my breaths soothes me. The bubbles trail upward, twenty feet above us through the crystal clear water.
But the next morning is the final day of training. After we complete the last two dives and get Steven’s sign off, we’ll officially be certified Open Water divers. Steven promised that today will be less about tests and drills and more about theexperience of diving. We all passed the online quizzes last night and we’re ready to complete the final requirements.
Eva, Nick, Nancy, and I stand on the deck, nervously shuffling our feet and grinning at each other as the boat swarms with organized chaos. It’s all we can do to just stay out of the way.
“I could hardly sleep last night,” Nancy announces, fidgeting with her sun hat. “I’m just so excited.”
“It’s great that you girls are getting started young.” Nick nods as Eva and I exchange a look. We’ve been surrounded by younger 20 somethings on this trip and it’s been hard to feel young most days. “Life doesn’t wait for you to be ready, you know. If you really want to do something, go for it. Don’t wait until you’re old and gray like us.” He and Nancy smile at each other.
“But you’re so inspiring,” Eva says. “I love that you’re both still trying new things. You’re seeing the world. So many people get stuck in their ways.”
Her words hit a little too close to home. I’m not old yet. I’m decades away from retirement. How have I gotten so stuck already? There’s no potential for growth at my job. There’s hardly enough wiggle room in the budget for me to take a break, never mind getting a raise. It’s like I’ve been waiting for a ring on my finger to start my real life—but what would have changed? We’d still be the same people and my passport would still be blank.
Before I can find some way to voice my thoughts and join the conversation, Steven pads down the dock. He’s barefoot, shirtless, and looking like a Greek God in a sunbeam. He shakes his golden hair out like a lion’s mane and I feel my body viscerally respond. I want to move toward him, touch his warmskin, run my fingers through that mop of hair. Tingles spread from my stomach all the way down to my curled toes.
“Good morning. Ready for an awesome dive?” Our cheers are a little subdued. I must not be the only one feeling a little anxious.
“It’s a lot to remember,” Nancy admits, tapping her fingers on the cover of her training manual.
“That’s why we’re doing this together,” Steven assures her. I like this comforting side of him. “Before we gear up, let’s go over the hand signals again. This is the only way for us to communicate underwater, so it’s important that we’re all on the same page.”
Steven seems different today. He’s clearly in his element out on the water. After giving us the dive brief, we disperse to pull on our wetsuits and arrange our gear, but I can’t look away from him for long. He’s at home with the dive crew, slapping the shoulder of the captain and speaking to him in casual Indonesian. I don’t understand a word beyond hello, please, and thank you, but I’m thoroughly impressed.
My heart races with anticipation as Eva and I rinse our masks and look out over the water. By the end of the day, we’ll be certified divers, and tomorrow we’ll fly home to New York like it never happened. This can’t be where my adventure ends. I’ll have to find some way to keep diving, to keep looking for new experiences that make me feel this excited to be alive.
“Ready for buddy checks?” Steven’s gravelly voice, so close behind me, makes me jump. When I turn, I bump hard into his shoulder.
“Oof,” I harrumph, nearly falling into the tanks. His arms shoot out to brace me, wrapping around my rib cage and pulling me to his chest. I gasp as I look up and his face is just inches frommine. The sexy stubble on his chin scrapes against my forehead and makes my thighs begin to warm.
“Sorry,” he grunts, releasing me abruptly as my hand shoots out for leverage on the table behind him.
Waves rock the boat from side to side, and our bodies roll against each other, soft and squishy through our wetsuits. We manage to disentangle ourselves as the boat steadies. He doesn’t instantly run away from me like he did two days ago, so I take that as a positive sign, even though my cheeks are red with embarrassment.
“Are you alright?” he asks gruffly, hands wrapped around my upper arms to hold me steady.
“Yeah.” I shrug, wishing desperately that I wasn’t wearing my wetsuit so I could feel the heat of his hands against my skin.
I shake my head, willing the dirty thoughts away even as I feel Eva’s eyes on us. Steven is gorgeous. Smart. Perfect for an island fling. But this is my last night, and he hasn’t shown any interest. Besides, what he’s given me is far better than any one night stand. A new experience, a new skill, and a new way of looking at life.
I take a deep breath and turn to Eva whose face is red with suppressed laughter.
“Ready, buddy?” I ask, glaring daggers, warning her to keep her quiet.
“Mmhmm.” She presses her lips into a thin line to hold back her mirth as we pull on our gear.
“BCD,” I mumble and avoid her gaze so I won’t start laughing. We move in tandem to fill our jackets with air, testing the buoyancy control device that helps us float in the water.
