Dash’s breathing goes labored, his muscles tensing as he closes his eyes and subtly rocks himself, mumbling words under his breath. The concern in me is back; that clawing need to pacify him.
As soon as I’m done shaving his head, I switch off the clippers. But I don’t move my hand away. I keep caressing his baby-soft skin, as gently as I can, in subtle, soothing strokes. Up and down, my heart is bursting to life inside me. It’sfinallypumping blood again for the first time in years…
Maybe for the first time since I was fifteen. With Jeremy.
Those fleeting moments of bliss before the unbearable agony.
Dash’s violent trembles even out in seconds. His breathing shallows. I can feel him relaxing,easinginto my touch, and it’s the most incredible thing I’ve ever felt.
I’m weightless, fuckingsoaring. Just brushing my thumb along the smooth plane of milky flesh beneath his now freshly shaven head while he sits still andletsme.
God, help me… I’m fuckingdrowningin this kid. Washing over him, praying he’ll absorb me… Let me beinside him.
Everything around us is black and white… Butweare in full color.
My dick is pumping to life, too. It electrifies me, and for one, very brief moment, I imagine what could happen… if I stay.
It flashes through my mind in high definition. Vivid and bright… The way I think it would feel to be this close to him…more. To see and be seen by him, touch and be touched by him.
Tofallwithhim, and… belovedby him.
Brushing my fingers off his neck is excruciating right now. Like ripping a part of my own anatomy off. I want tostayand touch him forever.
But I can’t.
This is bad. It’s sosobad…
I’m ajunkieand I’ve never felt addiction so strong, and so instantaneous.
My eyes shift, and The Ivory is glaring at me. Peeking down,Dashis glaring at me.
Two very different sets of eyes, withverydifferent looks. And believe it or not, Dash’s are the ones that snap me out of it.
He looks upset…Angry. The hazel in his eyes sparkles with need, I can see it, but it’s being shielded by too much unrest, and internal damage. So many things I live with myself.
I can’t do this…
Not anymore.
Stomping back to rejoin the line, I feel the weight of both black and hazel on me all the while. And I swallow down the truth, rough like a pill of barbed wire.
It doesn’t matter how much I like him, or how incredible it feels to be near him. How amazingly beautiful he is, even without his hair.Fuck me, he still looks so good…
I want every single piece of him, with all of his color, to surround me, envelope me in the taste, smell, sound, and feel of him. I’ve never cravedanythingso hard…
And that’s the problem.
I can’t stay here and want him this way. It’s every bit as unhealthy as shooting heroin into my veins.
It’ll only end in more pain, for both of us.
The Warden dismisses us, leaving Joy and Rook to bring Dash to the cell where he’ll spend the rest of his days. I’m choking back sobs and bile as I rush out after The Ivory.
This ends now.
And the craziest thing is that he’s expecting me. Just like when I showed up yesterday. He’s not surprised one bit to find me storming after him, but he just waltzes into his office like everything’s normal.
Like he hasn’t known exactly what he was doing this whole time.
