DomOliver: Okay, I’m definitely guilty of imagining it all as super intense and serious. Does fantasyevermatch reality?
SubAir: Oh yeah. Subspace is better than you can imagine. The emotional release, the aftercare—with the right person, the reality is so much more than any fantasy.
SubZero: 100%. Even with all the fumbling, it is still hotter than any vanilla sex.
DomAndDommer: Yep, absolutely worth it. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go read up on bamboo versus jute ropes.
SubZero: Analysts are split. Bamboo’s got better stats, but jute wants it more. Tune in tomorrow for final results.
Chapter 25
AARON
“Hey, Aaron, look alive!” Mark nudged him with an elbow and snapped another selfie. It was a beautiful, sunny day, they were creeping toward the top of the Centennial Wheel, and the Chicago skyline served as a magnificent backdrop, yet Aaron’s smile looked forced in every picture.
“Okay, this isn’t going to work,” Mark complained after another failed shot and turned to his girlfriend. “Come on, get in the frame.”
Rachel laughed and shook her head. “It’s adorable how excited you are about documenting every single place we visit, but I told you, I don’t want my face on social media.”
“This one will be just for us and our scrapbook.” Mark snaked his arm around Rachel’s waist and pulled her closer. They shared a sweet kiss while Aaron watched them with a wistful ache in his chest.
He was happy for Mark, happy for the joy he found with the warm, free-spirited woman who’d never batted an eyelash at Mark and Aaron’s post-divorce friendship. Their whirlwind romance had given Aaron hope for his own happy ending.
If only he knew how many chapters there were left to go.
His hand moved to his pocket on instinct, reaching for a phone that wasn’t there. He missed Jay. Hopefully, the bubbly receptionist had relayed his message, but the silence between them still left him uneasy. He had almost given her Mark’s number to pass along to Jay, but to what end? They weren’tboyfriends. They didn’t have to stay in constant contact. It was weird enough that Aaron had called Jay’s job to leave a message after only two days.
Fuck, did Jay think it was weird? He probably hadn’t even noticed Aaron’s silence. Still, Aaron didn’t regret calling. Just in case Jayhadnoticed, Aaron didn’t want him to be concerned.
“Can I borrow your phone?” he asked Mark after he emerged from the kiss.
“Tracking your package every ten minutes isn’t going to make it go any faster,” Mark huffed, opening the browser and refreshing the screen. Unsurprisingly, nothing had changed since the last time they checked. His new phone was still sitting at a facility in Hodgkins.
They finished their ride and followed Rachel as she bounced around the Navy Pier. Her energetic pace was a welcome distraction for Aaron, since dipping into every shop to buy touristy knickknacks helped keep his mind off Jay.
Mostly.
As much as he tried, unwelcome thoughts crept in anyway, taking root. The past forty-eight hours have made one thing clear—Aaron was getting far too attached to Jay. And what could he possibly expect to happen? A happily ever after? No, Jay was young and attractive, a sexy Dom who could have anyone he wanted, while Aaron floundered in uncharted waters, constantly off-kilter.
Up until a few months ago, Aaron had never thought twice about who he was. He knew himself, was comfortable in his own skin, moved through the world with easy confidence. These days, he barely recognized himself—so full of doubts and anxieties that had never existed before.
His stomach twisted with embarrassment when he remembered his breakdown at modeling night. Jay had been sweet and supportive at the time, but his patience might wearthin one day. And now, Aaron had disappeared to spend time with his guests and stopped responding to messages.
Jay would be well within his rights to rethink their relationship and find someone else. Someone who was easier to deal with. Someone more accommodating. Someone better.
Over lunch at one of the waterfront restaurants, Aaron barely stopped talking, asking question after question about Mark and Rachel’s new house. If either of them found his ongoing chatter strange, they didn’t say anything.
After the meal, with the earthy taste of truffle fries still lingering in Aaron’s mouth, he suggested a leisurely stroll down the pier.
Leaving the lovebirds to their hushed conversation, he walked ahead to enjoy the view. The familiar scent of salty air soothed his nerves, relaxing his muscles one at a time. He closed his eyes and faced the sun, breathing in deeply and listening to the gulls. He could feel the gloomy thoughts dissipate in the blinding light, replaced by cautious optimism.
Jay had always been open and honest. Always patient with Aaron’s moods, with the parts of him that needed reassurance more than he liked to admit. Always sweet and understanding. Always perfect.
Aaron exhaled slowly and focused on the warmth on his face.
Jay had never given Aaron a reason to doubt him.
And Aaron wasn’t going to let his brain invent one out of thin air.
