“This is embarrassing.” Aaron’s voice broke, and he swallowed past the lump in his throat. “I’m not minimizing. Literally, nothing is wrong. I’m a mess for no fucking reason. I should go home. This was a mistake.”
“What was a mistake?”
“Coming here. Joining this place. Maybe moving to this city.” He used the edge of his sleeve to dab at the moisture in his eyes. The glossy fabric wasn’t very absorbent. “I don’t belong here.”
“What are you talking about?” Jay’s gentle grip on Aaron’s chin tightened, tension vibrating through his fingertips. Confusion and worry mixed on his face, his brow furrowed, his eyes wide and full of questions.
Aaron was on the verge of calling it quits and fleeing, abandoning his phone and what was left of his pride, but Jay wouldn’t let him run. For some reason, Jay wanted Aaron to spell it out.
“Come on!” Aaron raised his voice. “It’s fucking obvious. Go inside, look around, and then look at me. The place is full of these young, incredibly attractive people that are wearing less than a yard of fabric between them. And here I am, wearing a fucking button-down shirt because that’s all I have. Middle-aged, divorced, boring. They probably let me join out of pity.”
He shook with anger and regret. He shouldn’t have voiced his insecurities, should have carried them home in silence, but it was too late.
Jay’s reaction caught him off guard. He wrapped his arms around Aaron in a tight embrace, pulling him close. Too drainedto resist, Aaron pressed his face into Jay’s neck and let himself sink into the comfort of Jay’s touch.
They stood motionless, the silence of the next few minutes broken only by Aaron’s ragged breathing. Jay didn’t offer platitudes or try to calm him down—just held him close, rubbing soothing circles on his back until his breathing calmed. When Aaron tried to pull away, Jay didn’t let go, instead gently pressing Aaron’s head back to his shoulder.
“Now it’s my turn to talk,” Jay said. “I’ve battled my share of insecurities, so I know how they can twist your reality and make you see things that aren’t actually there. I want you to hear me out and trust me.”
Aaron nodded, words escaping him.
“I see a beautiful, successful man who has his priorities straight. Who knows what he wants and doesn’t apologize for it. Who doesn’t change who he is under pressure. A man who walks into a room full of people who spent all day dressing up, wearing his everyday clothes and nothing but a dash of eyeliner, and still manages to be the most attractive person in the building,” Jay whispered, the steel in his voice unmistakable, leaving no room for argument. “It’s hard to see ourselves objectively sometimes. But you can trustmeto see you.”
He murmured the last few words directly into Aaron’s ear before tenderly kissing his temple. The softness of Jay’s lips, the warmth of his breath, the weight of his words—it was too much. Aaron was paralyzed, afraid to take a breath and shatter the moment. The things Jay was saying were sweet, meant to boost his mood, but they seemed too good to be true. They couldn’t be.
Except Aaron wanted to believe Jay. Against his better judgment, and fully aware of how illogical it was, he wanted to believe that he belonged.
The next time he pulled away, Jay didn’t stop him. Meeting Jay’s gaze, he whispered, “Okay. I trust you.”
Jay’s smile was bright as he enveloped Aaron like a shield. Something had shifted, the firm grasp of his arms no longer meant to soothe tears but to offer something else entirely. Jay hugged with his whole body, channeling the intensity of the moment into the gesture.
“We don’t have to go back inside,” Jay murmured into Aaron’s hair. “We can go somewhere else.”
“No, I’m done freaking out for the night.” Aaron took a deep breath and reluctantly stepped away. He would gladly spend all night touching Jay, but he’d ruined enough of their plans tonight. “I want to watch the very beautiful people get their pictures taken. Also, there’s something you’re wrong about.”
Jay frowned. “What’s that?”
“I’m also wearing mascara. Waterproof!” Aaron winked at Jay and held open the door. As Jay shook his head with a chuckle and walked in, Aaron congratulated himself on pulling off his very first wink.
The place was still full of youthful bodies wrapped in leather and lace, but Aaron’s insecurities had settled. Jay’s tender words buoyed him, his heart beginning to accept the idea that he could be enough.
They walked through the club, stopping to watch the photographers at work. Each one had claimed a small space for their equipment, arranging the backdrops and lighting to their taste. Gorgeous models drifted from one setup to the next, carrying themselves with the grace and confidence of youth. The popular regulars drew shouts from the photographers, coaxing them into a session.
In the middle of the chaos, a young man with a camera caught sight of Jay and waved him over.
“Hey, Jay!” he yelled over the noise. “Having fun?”
Jay paused and gave him a tight nod. “Gordon. How’s it going?”
“I’m getting some good shots. Wanna hop in there?” Gordon gestured toward his makeshift stage.
“Oh, no, I’m fine. Not dressed for the occasion.” Jay waved at his clothes, a flicker of unease passing over his features. He edged closer to Aaron, their shoulders brushing together.
“Come on, you look great. Strike a pose,” Gordon insisted, coming closer. So focused on Jay, he hadn’t spared Aaron a single glance. Not that Aaron minded—Gordon’s intense stare was unsettling, and he wanted to grab Jay and drag him far away.
“Thanks for the offer, but I’m okay.”
Gordon’s smile transformed into a scowl. “Hey, man, what’s up with you? You’ve been coming here for months and you never do anything. Always with that red bracelet, just hanging around.”
