“You talked to my mom?”
“Yeah.” There’s a nervous energy about him, something I’ve never seen in him before. He’s always been confident and collected, but right now, he seems like he’s trying to impress me. “I wanted to explain everything to her and apologize for…hurting her daughter.”
My heart skips a beat. “That’s…oddly sweet.”
"Sit with me." He gestures to the blanket.
I settle in, and he drapes a thick blanket over both our laps before pouring steaming liquid into two metal cups.
"Spiced apple cider," he says, handing me one. "Your mom said it's your favorite."
The warmth seeps into my frozen fingers as I cradle the cup. We sit in silence for a moment, watching the flames dance.
"How’s writing been going?" he asks between sips of his cider.
"I’m almost finished with my book," I tell him, a smile pulling at my lips.
His eyes find mine in the firelight. "That’s amazing. I’m proud of you.” Then a ghost of a smile crosses his face, a little mischief there. "How many orgasms do I owe you for that?"
The familiar joke catches me off guard. A laugh bubbles up before I can stop it, and suddenly I'm smiling, really smiling, for the first time since he showed up in Cedar Falls. I missed this, being with him.
And suddenly, I don’t want to hold back anymore for fear of getting my heart broken again. I want to be honest with him and enjoy this moment, and if more comes of it, if he’s able to prove himself to me, I’ll be ready to move forward.
"I missed this," I admit on a whisper. “Us.”
"I did too." He shifts closer, our shoulders touching through the layers of winter coats.
"How's work?" I ask, trying not to let my voice crack on the word. I can't shake the feeling that he chose his family company over me, but I knew that was the plan, so it should bother me. My mind has been swirling over those thoughts since he left me.
"I quit."
For a moment, I’m frozen in shock, thinking I misheard, but the serious look on his face proves me wrong.
I blink. "What?"
Asher inhales and exhales a long breath. "I quit, Grace.”
Shock ripples through me. "What? Why? When did this happen?"
“A few weeks ago, before I came out here.”
“Is it because I told you what Rich–”
“No. It’s not because of you,” he cuts me off. “Well, it is, but it’s because I finally realized my father is a monster. I mean, I knew that, but he’s so much worse than I could have imagined, and your accident really snapped me out of it. I’ve been working for so long to prove myself to him. I thought if I just got the right degrees, did the right things, get married like he wanted, that I would finally be good enough for him.” He chuckles low, but it’s a sad sound. “But I was never going to be good enough for him. And the only thing he cares about is himself. So I quit and asked myself what I really want in life. I flew here that night. I even came to your house, ready to drop to my knees and apologize, but…I realized I didn’t know what to say, so I checked into a bed-and-breakfast instead and have been staying there, working on myself. I found a therapist in town and started sorting through all my shit. I know I have a lot more work to do. I know my family wasn’t right for a lot of the stuff they did. And I know I’ve made a lot of mistakes. But I want to work on it. I want to be a better man for myself, but also, because I want to be the man that you deserve.”
I’m taken aback by his words. He’s been here for weeks? He found a therapist? But mostly, he wants to be the man that I deserve.
"Wow… I-I don’t know what to say." My voice is breathy, my heart pounding like it’s trying to escape my chest to get to him.
He smiles, and it reminds me of all the good moments between us. The times when it felt real, not an act we were putting on for our families. His gray eyes lock onto mine, intense and unwavering.
"Say you’ll give me a second chance. That’s all I want, Sugar.You’reall I want. Just a chance to prove to you that I’ve changed.”
55
ASHER
Iwatch as Grace sucks in a breath after my admission.
