Fear wins.
50
GRACE
I’ve never had my heart broken before.
I thought I had. My high school boyfriend broke up with me via text message, and I recall being sad, but it didn’t feel anything like the way my heart crumbles to my feet when Asher says, “Our contract is complete.”
The words don't make sense at first. They rattle around in my brain, searching for meaning.
We were starting to become something, something more than just two people together for the sake of an arrangement. At least, that's what it felt like to me…
Pain knocks into me, and I feel like I might collapse. Was I naive? Was this truly all for show and none of it ever meant anything?
I can't believe that, can’t let the thought be true.
The tightness is my chest grows, and I'm still looking at Asher, still waiting for an explanation that makes any sort of sense.
"I've already taken care of the money; it's been wired to your bank account. Your loans have been paid in full, in addition to the amount we agreed on." He pulls an envelope from his pocketand hands it to me, but I don't reach for it. "You'll receive divorce papers from my lawyers."
"Y-You're ending things?" I question, my voice squeaking on the last word.
"The contract is complete," he says, as if that stupid sentence is supposed to explain everything.
Maybe it does. Maybe it's me who's wrong for thinking we could ever be anything more than this. Confusion swirls through my brain, and I clutch at my chest, as if there’s a literal knife there, but there’s nothing physically wrong with me, even if it does feel like someone stabbed me.
"I'll have your stuff moved back into your apartment," he says softly. “The car is waiting for you downstairs.”
And that's it.
“No.” I shake my head as I feel the tears welling. Instinctively, my hand goes for my throat, wanting to feel the collar there, needing the proof that there’s something between us. But there’s nothing. It broke during the accident and hasn’t been replaced.
I choke on my sob.
“Grace…” Asher’s voice stays calm and tender, but he doesn’t touch me, no reassuring hand on my knee or face. “This is for the best. We’ve accomplished what I set out to, and it’s better that we end this early. After what happened…”
“You’re wrong,” I spit out through tears. “You’re scared, and I get it, I’m scared too, but you’re wrong. There’s something between us… Asher, I think love you.”
He winces at the words, and my heart breaks all over again.
He doesn’t love me.
This was never real for him.
He doesn’tloveme.
I try and fail to hold back my tears, but they fall down my cheeks. Asher doesn’t make a move to wipe them away or hold me; all of his caretaking has somehow just vanished.
“Please.” I try once more, the word a broken whisper as it leaves my lips.
“This is for the best,” he repeats without a hint of emotion.
I don’t know what else to do but to leave. I knew this day was coming, but I thought I had a few more months before it was all over. I pack a bag with my laptop and the most important things. And truthfully, I don’t think I want anything else. Not the designer clothes or fancy skincare products. I don’t want anything that’s going to remind me of him, of our time together.
Asher doesn’t look at me as I leave. We don’t say goodbye, don’t hug. We just go right back to being strangers. The new driver brings me to my shared apartment with Kacey. And once I’m there, in her arms, I sob over a man I was never meant to fall for.
