Niall opened his eyes again, studying me.
He knew what I was doing.
He knew I was horny, and he knew how much I wanted him, even if I shouldn't. Even if I might be fated to Jonah, who I didn't fucking want.
Even if we were supposed to be just friends.
Finally, he leaned toward me, grabbed my waist, and lifted me.
I was on his lap in a heartbeat, with my back to his chest. He had my wrists pinned in front of me, in one of his hands, just as fast. His breath tickled my ear in a way that made me immediately hot for him.
His erection was massive, pressed against my ass without an ounce of shame.
"You think I want to be your friend?" His fingers brushed my lower belly slowly, and my toes curled in response. "You think I haven't imagined fucking you in a dozen different ways since I've been here? You think it doesn't kill me to sit in this hot tub when I could be touching you? Eating you out? Buried inside you while you come all over my cock? Tell me you're mine, Livvy. Tell me I can have you."
"I shouldn't," I whispered.
"Like hell you shouldn't. You've been mine since the first time we were together. You're the only woman in this whole fucking city that I want, and I'm the only male for you. You don't want Jonah. Tell me I can touch you."
I wanted him so badly it hurt.
"Fine," I breathed. "Touch me. Fuck me."
His fingers brushed my clit lightly, and I nearly climaxed from the single touch alone.
I was a fucking livewire, ready to snap at any given moment. He knew it, and for some reason, he loved it.
"You really miss having me in bed, don't you?" He dragged his finger over my clit just lightly enough that I didn't lose it.
"You have no idea," I whispered.
He nipped my ear as he lifted me out of the water with him, then sat down on the ledge. Our feet dangled into the hot tub.
I knew what he was doing. Why he was doing it.
He wanted to feel how wet I was.
He wanted my scent on his skin, and his on mine, too.
When he touched me again, I came. The slickness of my release was all over his fingers as I panted, coming down from the high.
He slid his fingers inside me like he couldn't get enough of it.
Hecouldn't.
He never had before.
Niall lowered his lips to my throat and dragged his tongue over the battery tattoo there. The one he loved. His fingers stilled, just sitting inside me while my entire body clenched around them.
It wasn't enough.
I needed more. So much more. My energy level was so fiercely high, so horrifically miserable. Running wasn't enough. The cider wasn't enough.Nothingwas enough.
"Please fuck me." The words were nearly a whimper. "I need you."
I hated that I'd been reduced to this. This desperate, needy mess of a creature. I had control before—at least sometimes. I had been able to keep myself from spiraling, for the most part.
But losing this man had fucking destroyed me, and I'd handed him the sledgehammer.
