A pang of hurt sings through me, and I dash a tear away. Stupid, to feel so much after knowing him for so little.Stupid, stupid, stupid.
“You okay?” I ask Sophie gently, trying not to startle her.
It doesn’t work. She jumps, placing a hand on her heart as she spins around.
“Oh, Rowan. It’s you.” She laughs. “You know, I half expected you to have left already.”
“I’m trying not to do that anymore. Not without saying goodbye.”
“Thanks.” Sophie looks around. “Is it bad that I’m sadder about the venue than the man?”
“Yes. Absolutely. That’s kind of psychopathic, Soph.”
“Damn.”
“Shows you’re making the right choice.”
“Oh, I am so making the right choice. Turns out, you really learn someone’s true nature when you’re throwing a ring atthem in the middle of a corridor. The whole time we were in that room, Henry went on and on about how disappointed his parents would be, how embarrassed he feels having to tell his friends, how many events he’s had to miss because of this wedding. But you know what he didn’t say?”
“What?”
“How much he lovedme.”
“Ouch. I take it back. Losing this is way sadder than losing him.”
Sophie runs her hands over one of the place settings. “How’s Mum?”
“Hysterical. Devastated to have two daughters both failing to give her the marriage and babies she needs. Blaming it on Dad, obviously.”
Sophie winces. “She wants to see me, doesn’t she?”
“She does, but Joan’s with her for now.” I grin. “How does it feel to be the fuck-up then?”
“Terrible! I don’t know how you did it all these years.”
We both laugh. Outside, I can hear raised voices, and suitcases being dragged over gravel. Some of the guests making a hasty exit, I assume. No wedding, no need to stay. I check my watch. Not even nine.
“What are you going to do now?” I ask.
She cocks her head in thought. “Is hiding in here forever an option?”
“Unfortunately not.”
“Didn't think so. Well,” she squares her shoulders, taking a deep breath, “I guess I’m going to go check on Mum, and then do the rounds, make my apologies, ensure everyone has transport home. See if Stuart has heard yet – I’m sure he has – and cancelled the caterers. Apologise to Jonathan for wasting his time making that beautiful cake. God. All that buttercream… And after that—” She shrugs, a little helplessly. “—I don’t know.Take it step by step? I’ve never cancelled a wedding before. What about you?”
“Me?”
She narrows her eyes. “You’ve got that look you get when you want to run. Did something happen with Angus?”
“No!”
“Are you seriously trying to lie to me right now?”
“No…”
“Rowan.”
“Fine!” I stare up at the ceiling, desperately blinking back the tears that have leapt to my eyes. Stupid Rowan. So stupid, thinking this could be something. Stupid to take a risk. Stupid to open myself up. Stupid to try. Sophie has left her fiancé, and she’s less emotional than I am. “It’s no big deal. I guess we were a little closer than I’m letting on. But it’s over now. Done. We barely knew each other anyway.”
