Just breathe.
It’s the feeling of being helpless while your mind plays tricks on you. My only issue is that some shadows in the corner could be real.
These spells are getting more frequent. All I can do is hope they pass quickly.
I awake in worse shape than before I rested. Every single time.
My body so desperately wants me to stay awake.
As if to warn me that if my eyes close, something worse is yet to come.
Lately, no matter how much time I spent away from Silas, I felt even more exhausted. Sleep paralysis visited me every night and refused to permit me a simple night’s rest. Of course, when aCreature was not bothering me late at night, my body must make up for it by doing it itself.
A migraine shot through my head like an arrow through the eye, making a feverish nightmare out of my waking moments as well as my sleeping ones. The nights were so rough that even my lower back was suffering from some type of abuse from my unrest.
My fingers picked at fresh produce and flowers at the market. Normally, it would be therapeutic for me, but the throbbing in my skull made the colors too bright, the world around me moving in a delay as I walked about. My fingers pinched between my brows, and I rubbed over the right side of my face, hoping to ease the pain. I steadied myself on the edge of the vegetable crate when a wave of nausea overwhelmed me. A cold sweat was forming at the back of my neck as I fought the invisible ice pick in the side of my face, further debilitating me.
Someone pulled me from my stable support, and I leaned into the familiar form.
Blackberries and smoked bay leaves. There were no witty remarks this time, just an arm around my waist. “What are you doing? You’re usually at the shop by now.” Silas frowned. “I waited for hours. Where were you?”
“Apologies. If I knew that my stalker had hoped to see me, I would have rushed!” I gritted my teeth, feeling an uneasiness.
He blocked my path and tilted my chin up to inspect me. A gloved hand cupped the right side of my face, shielding it from the light.
I eased into the hand as I watched him through the glow of white lashes on my uncovered eye.
“You know, your marks really bring out the ice in your eyes when you’re irritated,” he teased, but he tensed after speaking, his eyes narrowed suspiciously.
“What?”
“Who have you been seeing?” His voice was cold. “Have you been seeing him?”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re the most capable creature I’ve ever met. Don’t pretend to be dense.” He pulled me away from the bustling crowd and into a quiet alley between two shops.
My body slouched against the wall when he let go. “I don’t have time for this.”
“It is all over you. The scent.” He squinted at me. “Is this what you do when I leave you to your own devices?”
“Even if that were true, I do not belong to you.” I clenched my teeth, massaging my temples. This interaction made me want to slam my head into the wall. Anything to get away from the pain. My eyes closed in an attempt to ground myself.
Betrayal was how I would have described the look on his face, but I knew that would require feelings and a willing participant. My chest burned. I was not sure what he thought I’d done, but I could see that something was bothering him enough to think I had crossed some boundary.
As much as I would love to tell him that I had bedded every man in his social circle to get back at him, I’d been too sick to even eat like a living person. All this told me was that he had truly given me time alone.
When I opened my eyes again, he had vanished without a word.
What an insolent child.
This night wasno different from the others. The pain persisted at an uncomfortable rate. It only got worse every hour, rendering me useless in the confines of my dark room. Only a modest amount of relief was returned to me when my curtains no longer had to fight the light from sneaking inside my room after sunset.
No position was comfortable. Nothing could relax my tension. The pillows were too soft or too hard. The sheets were an insufferable middle temperature, sticking to my clammy skin. The cold sweat made any loose hair stick to my skin, making the flyaway hairs protrude in awkward positions.
I could feel the bed dip down while my face stayed buried in my pillow.
I had a visitor.
