“You don’t mean that.”
“Oh, but I do.” I laughed. “I will kill myself if that is the only way to get away from you and this awful place.”
“You wouldn’t.”
“I would do whatever it takes.” I pulled away from him. “You know that.”
He yanked me back. “You are just saying these things because you are angry.”
“Unhand me, you unnatural thing!” I screamed at him. “I will not be told what I can and cannot do by a creature so abominable that he must keep me here in chains to keep me at all.”
“You don’t mean it.” His jaw clenched. “Say you don’t.”
“I should have dissected you and sold your corpse to the museums,” I seethed. “They would applaud me for slaying such a beast. The world, in turn, would have been brighter if I had removed your stain earlier. That is where my mistakes begin and end when it comes to you,Creature.”
The pain in his eyes was like nothing I had ever seen. It was how I used to fantasize about how maybe he would look if I sunk the blade through his heart. This was for his own good as well as mine. We simply could not exist together while I made it my purpose to destroy these things that surely were unnatural.Wewere unnatural. If I made it out alive, I needed to severeverything.
52
THE POISONER
“Alina, wake up,” Phoebe whispered, lightly tapping my face.
I moaned and rolled over in bed, wrapping my arms around her warm body as she lay next to me. She refused to let a maid stay with me so she could keep my company to avoid more feeding accidents.
“Are you well?” She rested her head on my chest.
“For now, I am fine,” I mumbled, rubbing my face against the soft pillow.
“You resemble a barely animated corpse.” Phoebe pulled away from the sheets and inspected me.
“I think that is the greatest compliment you’ve given me in my twenty years of knowing you.” I laughed weakly.
I had not seen my reflection, though I was sure I looked as grim as Phoebe described. Tired, fatigued, sore, bruised, and an always healing wound. I had endured much these past few months. This was the last limb. I could feel it.
“You are requested downstairs tonight.” Phoebe tracedher finger around the bruising on my shoulder. “I think it’ll be the best time to act. Everyone will be drunk, feeding, or on some other substance.”
“If you say so, I trust you,” I said as her worried face studied me. “We will be fine. Don’t look at me like that.” I tried to comfort her, though I was barely convinced myself.
There wasa wide assortment of fruits and colorful vegetables. Sliced pomegranate and berries. Cooked sweet potatoes and greens. There were two platters of meat: one was lemon haddock, and the other sliced red meat. It smelled like heaven. Then, my eyes trained on the beautiful pile of oranges in a bowl. I could understand why the girls did not want to leave. It really was heaven if you came of your own accord. There was also a large decanter of red wine in the middle.
Finally, something to numb myself with.
I had not realized how hungry I was until now. I poured a generous amount of wine into my glass before eating. There was so much food around me I was overwhelmed with deciding what to eat first. I decided to stick to red meat and wine. My orange was going to be saved for last. I downed the wine fast, and the lightness in my head hit me like a train. However, it did make my mood slightly more enjoyable. Overall, my body was relaxed. I was well rested and ready to depart this dreadful place.
My eyes slowly looked down at the deep purple in my cup. Wine was a blood thinner. I realized the entire spread before us was made up of ingredients that increased blood volume.
I plucked a few peeled orange slices from the table. A tingling at the back of my neck warned me of eyes watching.
I checked behind me to see Silas with three Hosts around him, but his eyes were only on me. They held such hatred in them, I could sympathize.
There was a girl on each of his legs as he sat there, then a third between his legs, touching his chest. They fawned over him, begging for him to take a bite.
As the scene unraveled, I wondered what he was getting at. Was this supposed to make me feel something?
He gave me a sly smirk before turning his attention to one of the women in his lap. He grabbed her neck and made her expose it for him. He licked his lips and glanced in my direction, not breaking eye contact as he sunk his teeth into her.
She gasped and clutched on to him.
