“I need you to find my purse.” I leaned close and spoke lowly.
“You’re worried about yourpurseright now?”
“No, I have something inside it. Small glass tubes a half inch long,” I instructed, showing her the size between my fingers.
“All right, fine. I can try. I don’t know where they put it?—”
“Figure it out,” I snapped, throwing her wrist back at her.
“Alina,” she began, “you can’t pretend I was the only one keeping secrets.”
“Don’t think for a moment that Silas isn’t going to find a knife in his chest when I get my hands on him. Rest assured.”
“I am not speaking of him.” She frowned. “Why didn’t you tell me you were a poisoner?”
“For the same reason you didn’t tell me you were one of thosethings. Or that Silas is your brother!”
“Halfbrother,” she corrected. Her eyes found the bruised bite mark on my shoulder. “I could have helped you.”
“You’re going to help me now. That’s the least you can do after what you’ve done.”
She wanted to protest, but didn’t. The tension between us was thick, like chilled tallow.
“Why wouldn’t you tell me? Do you think so low of me that I couldn’t be trusted?” I asked.
“Alina, I didn’t know.”
“We have known each other for as long as we could retain memories. How could this have never come up?”
“I was told that you would abandon me if I did. Father said that it was for your safety.” Her lip quivered. “He said if I told you, you would be hurt, and it would be entirely my fault. It was too late to tell you by the time we were older.”
“I would have listened.”
“I know you would have.” She sighed. “But you were too important to risk losing. I thought I wasn’t hurting anyone by keeping it to myself.” She took my hands in hers. “You must understand, because of Silas, I was not allowed to have friends outside the Nest—I didn’t even live in the Nest full-time. I begged Father for just one friend, and he allowed me to see you. I couldn’t lose you. You are all I have.”
I could see it in her eyes, but her shame was too great, and it pushed down everything she wanted to say to me. My arms wrapped around her, and she squeezed me back. The wet tears landed on my shoulder, and she sniffled. “I am so sorry, Alina. It was never supposed to end like this.”
“I know, I believe you,” I said softly, holding her tight. “We will get out together. Start over. Get far away from here.” It was impossible to stay angry at her. I would not admit it out loud, but we’d kept our secrets for similar reasons. Everything I did was to protect her and those like her, the lighthearted good of the world.
She quietly got up after a while and let me go. “I will be back once I figure out where your things are. Just... don’t draw attentionto yourself for now.” She approached the door. She looked back at me before she closed the door behind her.
Sleep was not something I was able to turn to after that. Picking at my nails again, I assembled a plan in my head. My only weapon was poison, which might or might not be as effective. Did I have to poison everyone to get out of this mess? Could Phoebe arrange for us to run? I had to think, but it was impossible to do on an empty stomach, and I was running on what was left of my adrenaline.
My mood was becoming irate. I was coming off my newest self-medication, which might not have been the wisest choice, not that I could have anticipated my current situation. Another thing I would not have done if I’d known the bigger picture.
48
THE POISONER
The walls closed in more every day.
I swore the room had been bigger upon my arrival. Seven days had passed since then. It was like someone moved the walls an inch every time I closed my eyes. It had also been seven days since I last saw anyone familiar. The only ones who kept me company were the maids, and it took them several days to trust me enough to talk to me.
I was shuffled between three rooms throughout the day—the bedroom, a small room with a table for dining, and a bathroom. This morning, they served me pomegranate, berries, aged cheese, biscuits, and some eggs.
They still had not given me clothes.
“So, you are saying Host positions are voluntary?” I picked at the pomegranate on my plate, rubbing the irritated skin on my neck from the collar.
