What if I quit sitting on the sidelines, watching others build their careers and chase their dreams, while my own hopes lie dormant and my relationships remain nonexistent?
Because the truth is, Sebastian’s personality and fame burn so bright that they suck up all the oxygen in any room.
In the seven long years I’ve been his assistant, I haven’t figured out how to have both a life and this job.
So I wonder as I walk through the white-walled, high-ceilinged space. I wonder what would happen if I said those two words.I quit.
Would Sebastian Blake even care?
CHAPTER 2
Sebastian
“I don’t knowwhy you put up with that assistant of yours,” Allegra complains, admiring herself in the mirror. She’s lounging against the counter of my bathroom sink while I splash water on my face to wake up properly so I can be interviewed by a journalist who would happily decimate me in print.
My expression hardens. “Be careful what you say. Emma’s been in my life a lot longer than you have. And she’ll still be here no matter what happens between us.”
Allegra puts a conciliatory hand on my arm. “You’re so loyal, even to the little people.”
Dating one of the most gorgeous women in the world should be tempting. Instead, I feel myself wishing she’d leave, and not only because of what she said about Em. I sigh, wondering, not for the first time, if this is what dating is supposed to feel like. Like an obligation.
I have no frame of reference. Before Allegra, I only did temporary.
Lately, though, all my friends are getting happily hitched. I’ve watched my best friend and costar Chase fall for his pen pal, Olivia. They’re engaged now, and I barely recognize the smiling bastard. Chase says that being with Olivia feels like the best version of coming home.
My friend Ryder had a similar transformation. He’s engaged to Chase’s younger sister, Daisy. I’ve never seen the rock star look so happy.
I finally decided to give the dating thing a shot, testing it out in the manner of an experiment. For the first time ever, I’m taking things slow with a woman. It hasn’t been hard to do. With our travel schedule, we’re rarely in the same time zone. Hell, we haven’t even slept together yet. But so far, this test has been a bust. It’s confirmed what I always suspected—I’m not wired for anything more than temporary.
Allegra is stunning, smart, and, best of all, she understands the weird world I live in. She doesn’t mind the incessant photographers and can deal with the constant tabloid gossip and social media conspiracy theories that come as a result of dating me.
But being with her doesn’t feel like coming home. I’ve never had that emotion in someone’s arms.
Except… A little voice niggles.
Except this morning, in those quick seconds between dreaming and waking. As I drifted into consciousness, I was surrounded by soft skin, delicious warmth, and a scent I still can’t get out of my mind. But more than that, I had an inexplicable feeling of peace. Just as Chase had described.
Thinking it was Allegra in my arms, I was, at long last, absolutely, one hundred percent happy with her. I was finally impatient to take this to the next level.
But then I opened my eyes.
And found it wasn’t Allegra after all.
It was Emma.
Though I tried to play it off, I’m left shaken. I tell myself it’s no big deal. That feeling of rightness and peace and, yes, lust, must have been the lingering effects of a dream.
I can’t think of Emma in that way. Her presence in my life is too important to risk. I may be a blunt ass most of the time, but I’m not a creep. I don’t hit on my employees. My father did that. I vowed long ago never to behave like him.
Being bad at relationships is a family tradition the Blakes pass down, like a Thanksgiving recipe or Thursday game night, not that we have either of those. Marriage for us is especially fraught. My dad’s had three tries and fails at the altar. My mom’s searching for husband number four. And my grandparents weren’t much better. Blakes have raised hurting the people they care about to an art form. Hollywood just makes all that worse. No couple lasts here.
“Babe, are you okay?” Allegra asks. “You seem a little freaked out. Don’t tell me you’re nervous about the interview.”
I swear. The interview. I’m going to be very late.
“I’m fine,” I say, though my fingers fumble to fasten the buttons to my shirt.
I’m not freaked out, I repeat to myself. At least, not about the interview.
